The 10 Funniest ‘Harry Potter’ Movie Quotes
The Harry Potter franchise continues to expand with the ongoing Fantastic Beasts movie series and the recent release of the Hogwarts Legacy video game. However, most fans of Harry Potter‘s notorious Wizarding World will agree in saying that no addition to the franchise has lived up to the heartfelt, exhilarating, and nostalgic story of the original eight Harry Potter films.
Harry Potter takes viewers on a journey of emotions, from elation to heartbreak to fear to relief, but the comedy throughout is a huge reason audiences stay captivated. There are some quotes from the Harry Potter movies that can’t help but make fans laugh.
1 “Honestly, Woman, You Call Yourself Our Mother?”
Fred Weasley, ‘Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone’ (2001)
The 2001 Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone was highly anticipated due to the massive success of J.K. Rowling‘s book of the same name. This line is spoken towards the beginning of the film by Fred Weasley (James Phelps). Fred is one half of the notably hilarious twin duo: Fred and George (Oliver Phelps). The identical twins are consistently getting mixed up by others. Fred sarcastically says this line to Molly (Julie Walters) after jokingly tricking her into thinking she mixed up their names.
Fred and George Weasley are two of the funniest characters in the Harry Potter franchise and are especially amusing together. The duo is known to bring lightheartedness to the series, even in moments of sadness, and their humorous first scene represents them well. This Fred Weasley quote serves as a jovial introduction for Harry to the Weasley family.
2 “She Needs to Sort Out Her Priorities.”
Ron Weasley, ‘Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone’ (2001)
In Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Ron (Rupert Grint), Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) and Hermione (Emma Watson) come across a terrifying three-headed dog and immediately rush away. The frustrated Hermione then says to the hilarious and now-iconic movie duo Harry and Ron “I’m going to bed before either of you two come up with another clever idea to get us killed or worse…expelled.” Dumbfounded, Ron answers back in an exclamation about Hermione’s strange set of priorities.
What makes the dynamic between Harry, Hermione, and Ron so engaging is how different their personalities are from one another. Hermione is incredibly concerned with academics and following rules, whereas Ron tends to be more goofy and disorganized. The disparity in how they approach life thus leads to amusing interactions like this one.
3 “Tell Me… What Exactly Is the Function of a Rubber Duck?”
Arthur Weasley, ‘Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets’ (2002)
This quote is said by Arthur Weasley (Mark Williams) the very first time he meets Harry in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. To the average muggle, this question sounds absolutely ridiculous. However, in the world of Harry Potter, wizards have different toys and objects than people who don’t have powers. Finally, in contact with an expert of the Muggle world, Arthur wastes no time before he abruptly asks Harry the comically innocent question.
Arthur is the father of Ron and the husband of Molly Weasley. His curiosity for the muggle world recurs throughout the series. On multiple occasions, Arthur is found researching Muggle life and being amazed by the inventions of non-magic folks. To movie fans, his intense interest is laughable, but it’s also what makes his character so lovable.
4 “One Person Couldn’t Feel All That. They’d Explode!”
Ron Weasley, ‘Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix’ (2007)
Ron’s character does not fall short of hysterical lines, even as he ages into a young adult. In Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Hermione explains to Ron and Harry how Cho Chang’s (Katie Leung) overwhelming emotions may have led her to cry during her kiss with Harry. Still in a state of emotional development, Ron doesn’t understand how Cho could be experiencing so many feelings, leading him to say this line.
Hermione’s response to this Ron quote is arguably equally amusing. “Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon,” Hermione replies. In just a few brief words, Hermione is able to find a lighthearted way to tease her friend and life Harry’s worries revolving around the tearful kiss.
Severus Snape, ‘Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix’ (2007)
Also in the fifth movie, Severus Snape (Alan Rickman) is questioned by the unbearable major villain Dolores Umbridge (Imelda Staunton) about his time working at Hogwarts. Umbridge condescendingly asks Snape to confirm that he was unsuccessful in obtaining the Defense Against Dark Arts teaching position he desired. Snape, who is clearly teaching a potions course, can’t resist being snarky in his one-word answer.
Snape speaks almost exclusively with cold bitterness, but his sarcasm is what makes him so iconic to fans. Though Snape is largely unlikeable for the majority of the series, his sass at the even more unlikeable Umbridge earns him some respect from Harry Potter viewers.
6 “You Might Not Like Him, Minister, but You Can’t Deny… Dumbledore’s Got Style.”
Kingsley Shacklebolt, ‘Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix’ (2007)
Ministry Auror Kingsley Shacklebolt (George Harris) says this line to the Minister of Magic in Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix. When confronted by the representatives of the Ministry of Magic, Dumbledore (Michael Gambon) escapes being taken to Azkaban in an undeniably ostentatious manner. Dumbledore’s legendary magical phoenix arrives and flies over his head as he grabs onto the fiery bird, disappearing in a burst of flames. Shacklebolt gives a brief sigh at the situation and then says the line matter-of-factly to the Minister.
What makes the line so amusing is Shacklebolt’s lack of concern for complimenting Dumbledore. Shacklebolt was at Hogwarts to arrest Dumbledore, but Dumbledore’s showing is so impressive that the ministry employee can’t resist the urge to express his admiration. It’s inappropriate for the situation, but fans love the line because he’s speaking the truth. Dumbledore has got style.
7 “All She Wants To Do Is Snog Me. My Lips Are Getting Chapped… Look!”
Ron Weasley, ‘Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince’ (2009)
Fan favorite Ron Weasley says this line in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. The obsessive Lavender Brown (Jessie Cave) approaches Harry and Ron’s room on the train and fogs up the glass door with her breath. She then draws a heart in the fog and writes “R+L” inside of it, which Ron gets visibly uncomfortable by.
Ron and Lavender engage in a romantic relationship during the sixth Harry Potter film. Ron starts off excited by the attention, but Lavender quickly becomes very attached and clingy. Ron soon enough feels trapped in the relationship. Fans sympathize dearly with Ron’s discomfort, but the ordeal makes for a lot of humorous moments.
George Weasley, ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1’ (2010)
George says this iconic line at the beginning of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1 when he catches Harry and Ginny kissing in the kitchen. What seems to be a sweet and intimate moment is hilariously interrupted by George, who unapologetically sips his tea with an amused smirk.
George stretches out his “Morning” in a sarcastic way to break up the pair, as he’s surely uneasy seeing his younger sister kiss Harry. Harry and Ginny leave the room at once with embarrassed frowns on their faces.
9 “Dobby Never Meant To Kill! Dobby Only Meant to Maim, or Seriously Injure.”
Dobby, ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1’ (2010)
Dobby speaks this line in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1 to the formidable Bellatrix Lestrange (Helena Bonham Carter). Harry and his friends have been captured and are at Malfoy Manor when Dobby appears to rescue them. Dobby attempts to drop a chandelier onto Bellatrix, who angrily yells at him that he could’ve killed her. Dobby hits her back with that witty reply.
Dobby is one of the most lovable characters in the Harry Potter franchise because of his goodhearted and kind nature. He’s always trying to protect Harry and even in his moments of anger and violence, he speaks with a sense of innocence.
10 “I’ve Always Wanted To Use That Spell.”
Minerva McGonagall, ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2’ (2011)
This one is said by Professor McGonagall (Maggie Smith) in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2. McGonagall is securing the castle and uses the incantation “Piertotum Locomotor” which brings life to the castle’s huge statues. McGonagall fiercely tells the soldier statues to man the boundaries and protect the school. She then turns to Molly Weasley with a giddy laugh and recites the iconic quote.
McGonagall is known for being stern, but having a funny personality at the same time. What’s amusing about this scene is how McGonagall’s endearing excitement breaks through the dramatic score and very serious situation. The school is preparing for a deadly battle, but McGonagall still manages to find joy in the little things.
NEXT: The Best Wizarding World Storylines That Deserve Screen Adaptations