What is 'Brat Girl Summer' and Should You Worry About Your Kids Embracing It?
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The trend started by pop star Charli XCX makes being a brat something to be proud of!
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Fact checked by Sarah ScottFact checked by Sarah ScottI recently watched actor Andrew McCarthy’s Hulu documentary Brats where he explores what it was like being a part of the “Brat Pack” in the 1980s. Gen X well knows that the “Brat Pack” was a group of young Hollywood stars that included (but was not limited to) McCarthy, Emilio Estevez, Rob Lowe, Demi Moore, and Molly Ringwald known for their entitled attitudes as their stars began to rise.The infamous moniker was bestowed upon them in a 1985 New York magazine cover story and to this day, some 40 years later, McCarthy’s still resentful of the term. He felt being labeled a “brat” was unwarranted and even damaging to his career. In many ways, the documentary helps him make peace with being labeled a "brat."So, my interest was piqued when the phrase “Brat Girl Summer” started popping up online and on social media. While it has nothing to do with the “Brat Pack” or Brats documentary, it is related. “Brat Girl Summer” strives to take the negative connotation away from the word and make being a brat a movement steeped in strength and empowerment. It’s counterintuitive because throughout my childhood, being a brat made you spoiled, snobby, and entitled and you should strive to be polite, appreciative, and grateful. As parents, my husband and I constantly check in with each other every time our daughter rolls her eyes or refuses a kind gesture, praying we didn’t enable such “brattiness.”Now, how did the summer of 2024 get dubbed “Brat Girl Summer?” The origins can be traced back to pop star Charli XCX and her latest album titled, what else but Brat. Her songs, lyrics, and overall vibe take back the traditional, derogatory meanings of “brat” and instead inspire girls to unapologetically be themselves.It's also become an aesthetic of sorts. Some describe the looks as casual yet edgy—shorts and leather jackets, acid-washed jeans (yes they are back), along with smudged eyeliner and sunglasses on when indoors.As much as I love that my 9-year-old daughter is a devoted Swiftie—I don’t mind her being exposed to a few antidotes to the “good girl” role model. After all, I grew up loving Debbie Gibson as much as I idolized Madonna. It’s been a journey helping my daughter find herself, her passions, and her people.I want her to confidently follow a path she sets for herself—not one encouraged by her friends. I hope my daughter is a Swiftie forever but having some edgier, unfiltered, bolder, and messier girls (AKA BRATS) enter the chat feels right.As a parent, I couldn’t help but wonder if it was really okay to encourage my daughter to be a “brat”—despite the updated meaning. Were there other ways to build self-esteem and confidence? The answer is yes—and no.The Hidden Dangers of Encouraging a 'Brat Girl Summer'Nicholette Leanza, LPPC-S, a therapist at LifeStance Health warns of hidden dangers when using the term “brat girl” around your kids.“It cultivates a hedonistic attitude of ‘I can do what I want when I want,’ and so it’s important that parents help balance this by teaching that it’s okay to speak their mind and be assertive as long as it’s not disrespectful or dismissive of others,” explains Leanza. “This folds nicely into parents teaching empathy to help their child recognize how their actions may affect others.”Overall, it’s important to help kids understand that there is a difference between confidence and entitlement.Jenn Mann, PsyD, a licensed marriage, family, and child therapist and author of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy Confident Kids reminds parents that the word “brat” does have a long negative history with implications.“Calling your child a brat is not empowering and at the heart of what children become is what their parents tell them that they are,” she explains. “You don’t wanna be unconsciously programming your child to believe they are the traditional sense of a brat.”Turning 'Brat Girl Summer' Into A Great Parenting ToolOnce parents are mindful of the negative associations, the idea behind “brat girl summer” can be a great resource because Dr. Mann says traditionally, society tends to pressure girls to ‘people please,’ take care of others, care a lot about what other people think of them and how they look.“Teaching the contrary is an empowering move that helps create your own healthy version of 'brat girl summer' for your child,” says Dr. Mann. “It’s something that should be integrated into all parenting, especially parenting young girls.”Leanza concurs, appreciating how the ‘brat girl’ trend nurtures unique forms of self-expression and self-advocacy.“It makes me think of the famous quote, ‘well-behaved women rarely make history,’’ says Leanza. “That encourages women to be outspoken and challenge societal expectations of being the ‘good girl.’So maybe all of us—Andrew McCarthy included—have had the word “brat” wrong for decades! It may take a minute for a positive connotation to catch on but I’m all about the sentiment Charli XCX is promoting for not only my daughter but also myself.In fact, it recently came to light that many Charli XCX fans misunderstood the "brat girl" decree and launched a "hate" campaign against Taylor Swift both online and at Charlie XCX's shows. Some of their chants at live shows even included, "Taylor Swift is Dead."Once Charli XCX caught wind this was happening, she immediately took to her Instagram stories with a warning: “Can the people who do this please stop. Online or at my shows. It is the opposite of what I want and it disturbs me that anyone would think there is room for this in this community. . . I will not tolerate it.”Perhaps if there was any confusion about the meaning behind being a "brat girl," Charli XCX made it crystal clear with that message of tolerance, love, and support! From pop stars to parents to coming-of-age tweens—we all could benefit from some “brat girl" vibes this summer! For more Parents news, make sure to sign up for our newsletter! Read the original article on Parents.
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