14-Year-Old Child Development Milestones
Everything you need to know about how your 14-year-old is developing, from physical and cognitive milestones to emotional and social development.Medically reviewed by Bree Lustre, MDMedically reviewed by Bree Lustre, MDFourteen can be a pivotal age for both young people and their parents or caregivers. Not only are many 14-year-olds just beginning high school, but they also are heading down the path toward becoming healthy, responsible adults. This can be both exciting and challenging—for both of you.At this age, many 14-year-olds are developing their unique identity, gaining independence, and likely exploring (or thinking about) romantic relationships. That can be a lot to take in as a parent. But, by providing plenty of supportive guidance and helping them gain the skills they need for a successful future, you both can weather this transition seamlessly.Whether you are concerned about their cognitive abilities or are wondering about their physical development, keep reading to break down what you can expect to see from your child at this age. Plus, we provide tips on how to navigate parenting your teen from how to help them learn and grow and pointers for keeping them safe.
Parents / Emily Roberts
Related: 20 Questions to Help You Bond With Your Teen
14-Year-Old Language and Cognitive MilestonesBy the time your child reaches 14, they are likely thinking more deeply and making their preferences known. They might have favorite movies, TV shows, music, sports teams, and books. Depending on how much they read, they might even have an extensive vocabulary.Most 14-year-olds also find justice and equality to be important issues and many are actively volunteering or showing an interest in advocacy. You also may notice that your teen wants to explore the world beyond their own community and that they are interested in learning what exists beyond their school, hometown, or country."At 14, most teens have the ability for complex thought and can express their thoughts and opinions verbally," says Florencia Segura, MD, FAAP, a pediatrician with Einstein Pediatrics in the Washington D.C. metro area. "They might have strong opinions or beliefs that are sometimes different than their parent or caregiver's beliefs.Yet, despite this ability to communicate verbally, your 14-year-old may seem less communicative at times. While this can feel disconcerting, rest assured this can be part of normal development as your teen begins solving problems and dealing with emotions on their own.Your teen also may prefer to stay in touch via electronic communication with friends and family. Texting and social media are often very important at this age, Dr. Segura says. In fact, teens may prefer to text their parents rather than talk with them directly."They also might start realizing that grades and academic performance will determine their future," says Jonathan Jassey, DO, FAAP, a pediatrician and father of three in Bellmore, New York. "There is more pressure on them to succeed now because the college landscape is such a competitive space. They start to realize that starting high school is the next step toward their future."If your 14-year-old is feeling the pressure to succeed in the future, or excel at school, research shows that talking them through this tough period may them have more confidence, and even reduce the likelihood that they become depressed. Cognitive MilestonesDevelops an ability to focus on the futureMay challenge the assumptions and solutions presented by adultsStarts to set personal goals
14-Year-Old Physical MilestonesMost 14-year-olds have hit puberty by age 14, but if your child is still a little behind try not to worry. Growth and development are often unique for each child.Generally speaking at this age, all genders tend to have pubic and underarm hair, says Dr. Jassey. Most biological females have started their menstrual periods and have experienced breast development while most biological boys have experienced enlargement of the testicles and penis. Some of them also may experience nocturnal emissions (wet dreams) for the first time.Their changing bodies can be a source of pride or a cause for concern. Some teens may be proud of their adult-like bodies while others may be embarrassed or confused by the changes they are experiencing.Although it might be hard to see your teen go through it, research shows that the majority of teens and preteens are self-conscious about their appearance, making it a normal part of adolescence. You can ease some of that mental load by boosting their self-confidence whenever you have the chance.Biological boys who hit puberty later may be more likely to feel bad about themselves. They may experience body image issues as they are likely to compare themselves to their peers. Those who identify as girls may experience body image issues as well, whether they begin puberty early or late. It’s common for them to be concerned about their weight and appearance. Physical DevelopmentsExperiences great concern if they develop physically slower than peersExhibits a wide range of sexual maturityMay grow several inches in several months followed by a period of very slow growth
14-Year-Old Social and Emotional MilestonesFourteen-year-olds often start to grow convinced that they know everything. Don't be surprised if your teen wants to argue with you about everything or if they insist you have no idea what you're talking about.Most teens this age also experience great fluctuations in their self-esteem. They may feel good about themselves one day and feel extremely inadequate the next. Although mood swings can still be common at age 14, they are usually less intense than when you're child was a little younger.By now, they have usually developed the skills they need to deal with uncomfortable emotions, like embarrassment and anger in healthy ways. And, they may rely on their own strategies, like journaling or listening to music, or they may turn to their friends for support. Don't be surprised if your 14-year-old stops confiding in you.As much as you may wish it were not true, it is normal for 14-year-olds to be embarrassed by their parents. They may not want to be seen being dropped off by you at a dance or sporting event. Or, they may insist that you embarrass them when they have their friends over."At this age, teens often have mixed feelings about their parents," Dr. Segura says. "They don't necessarily want to completely break away from their parents, but relying on friends or confiding in them is a big part of their development."Many 14-year-olds develop an interest in dating and forming romantic relationships. They may have crushes or they may consider themselves in a relationship. "It is productive for parents to have conversations with their kids about healthy relationships, sex, and dating so they are not just getting their information from social media," Dr. Jassey says. Social and Emotional MilestonesMay appear happy and easy-going as well as a struggle with mood swingsIs embarrassed by parentsRecognizes own strengths and weaknessesWants to be likedHas a large social circle including friends of both sexesDisplays interest in romantic relationships
Related: Is My Kid Having Sex? Lessons in Sex Ed for Parents of Teens
Other Milestones for Your 14-Year-OldMany 14-year-olds show a strong interest in earning money, but they’re usually not able to obtain formal employment. You might assist your teen in finding odd jobs that help them earn some spending money, such as mowing lawns or babysitting. They also are ready to take on more responsibility and become more independent.This is also a common age for children to start to articulate their gender identity, and they may even change their preferred pronouns. Be supportive and nonjudgmental if faced with this situation, and try to be open to your child's shifting understanding of their identity. Reassure them that you will love them no matter what."Overall, your 14-year-old is going to want a little more independence than they did at 13," says Dr. Jassey. "Keeping the lines of communication open is really important so that you know what is going on in their world. Even if they are not willing to open up at certain times, it's important that they know they can come to you to discuss things if they want."How To Help Your 14-Year-Old Learn and GrownThere are a few things you can do to aide in your teenager's growth and development:Stock the house with healthy snacks and serve nutritious meals. Reduce body image issues by focusing on health, rather than weight and appearance.Make it clear that they have some control over their privileges. Assign chores and expect them to do their school work. Make their privileges contingent on getting things done.Show an interest in your teen’s activities. Ask questions that go beyond “yes” or “no” to open the door to more in-depth conversations. Rather than ask, “How was your day?” ask “What was the best part of your day?” and inquire about your teen’s opinions and interests.Respect your teen’s opinions even when you don’t agree with them. Show interest in learning more about what has shaped their ideas and why they have certain beliefs. Teens often just want to know that someone is listening to them.
Related: An Argument for Letting Your Teen Wear What They Want
How To Keep Your 14-Year-Old SafeBecause your 14-year-old has likely entered high school, they may be faced with an entire host of new situations and opportunities. The need for regular communication becomes increasingly important especially when it comes to keeping them safe. From how to navigate peer pressure at parties, safe dating, social issues, and healthy relationships to riding with friends in cars and staying safe online, there is a lot to talk about.Dr. Jassey recommends having multiple conversations with your teen rather than looking to have one big talk about topics like sex, drugs, alcohol, bullying, dating, and vaping. You should be talking to your teen about these things on an ongoing basis not only explaining the consequences of poor decision-making but also reminding them of what your expectations are."Teens are very influenced by their peer group," Dr. Segura adds. "Sometimes it is best to provide them with anticipatory guidance rather than waiting until an issue crops up to address it."Make sure they know how to stay safe online as well as what is appropriate and inappropriate to post and send to their friends. You also can help them maintain a good digital footprint by going through their social media accounts with them and helping them clean things up from time to time."At this age, teens are on their phones a lot," Dr. Segura says. "Be on top of social media and aware of what they are doing online. There is a risk of sharing too much information or posting something that could backfire."When your teen does make a poor decision—and almost every does at some point—make sure they know you will help guide them through it. While there may be consequences for their actions, they also need to know that you love them unconditionally and will not leave them to deal with the fallout on their own.
Related: Why Parents Should Encourage Their Teens To Play More
When To Be Concerned About Your 14-Year-OldAll teens develop at slightly different rates. While some 14-year-olds will look and act more like adults, others may still be quite child-like. Usually, there’s no cause for concern as kids will all catch up to one another soon. 14-Year-Old Developmental Red Flag SymptomsFalling behind at school or sudden drop in academic performanceMood swings or inability to regulate emotionsExtreme changes in eating habitsConcerning sadness, worry, stress, or anxietyPoor hygieneSudden lack of interest in friendships or hobbiesAggression or angry outburstsLow self-esteem, or excessive worry about body image or appearance
If you are concerned about your teen’s immaturity, it’s important to talk to your child’s health care provider. They can rule out any physical or mental health issues and may refer your child to a specialist if necessary.Eating disorders can develop during the teen years as well, Dr. Segura says. Keep an eye on your teen’s eating habits. Skipping meals, purging, and crash diets are red flags that could signal your teen needs to see a mental health professional. For more Parents news, make sure to sign up for our newsletter! Read the original article on Parents.
Welcome to Billionaire Club Co LLC, your gateway to a brand-new social media experience! Sign up today and dive into over 10,000 fresh daily articles and videos curated just for your enjoyment. Enjoy the ad free experience, unlimited content interactions, and get that coveted blue check verification—all for just $1 a month!
Account Frozen
Your account is frozen. You can still view content but cannot interact with it.
Please go to your settings to update your account status.
Open Profile Settings