Can Using Anatomically Correct Terminology For Genitalia Enhance a Child's Body Image?
Parents who want to protect and empower their children should understand the importance of teaching them anatomically correct terms like penis and vagina.Medically reviewed by Bree Lustre, MDMedically reviewed by Bree Lustre, MDResearch shows that while the majority of young children can correctly name their non-genital body parts, only a slim minority can correctly name their genitals. It might be an understandable oversight: Many parents are uncomfortable with using terms like penis and vagina and instead will substitute cutesy terms like wee-wee or flower. While most parents are well meaning in their use of nicknames for genitals, if they are interested in promoting body positivity in their homes, this isn’t the healthiest approach for kids.“It is important to use anatomical terms because those are the correct words to use to describe one’s body,” says David Levine, MD, chief of general pediatrics, Atlantic Health System’s Goryeb Children’s Hospital. “Children need to hear those words because without them, they cannot describe what they feel to a parent, doctor, or anyone who is caring for them.”
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Parents might also wonder if using anatomically correct terminology for genitalia enhances a child's body image—and more importantly, if doing so might also decrease a child’s risk for sexual abuse. The answer to both of those questions is yes. Using the correct terms for your baby's genitalia has concrete benefits for children, protects them from harm, and improves their overall health and well being.Here is a look at some of the benefits of using the correct terms for genitalia in kids, as well as strategies for teaching kids these terms.
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When and How to Start Teaching Kids Anatomically Correct Body Part NamesThe Academy of American Pediatrics stresses the importance of teaching body autonomy as a way to prevent childhood sexual abuse. One main way to do this is to use the real names of body parts, with an emphasis on the idea that it’s normal and natural to talk about our bodies factually. The AAP recommends that parents start doing this in early childhood. Dr. Levine agrees. “You should start right from the beginning,” he says. “They are just words and should not be considered off-limits.” And what might this look like in practice? First of all, we should not express to our kids that their genitals are weird or that they shouldn’t be called by their formal names, according to Dr. Levine. At the same time, parents should also emphasize that genitals are private and that permission should always be given before anyone, even a doctor, touches them. Parents should also bring up this topic when it feels right at the moment, like while you’re taking a bath or getting dressed.
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Teaching your children the correct names of their genitals is important, but it's also also essential to instill in children that their genitals are private. In other words, other people (who are not their trusted caregivers who must do so, to for instance, bathe or change their diaper) are not allowed to touch or look at their genitals, or show or ask children to touch theirs—and that if anyone, even a family member, does so, they must tell you immediately.
The Benefits of Teaching Kids the Anatomically Correct Names for Genitalia There are many benefits to teaching kids the anatomically correct names for their private parts. These benefits start in early childhood and endure through the teen years. Here’s what our experts had to say about these benefits.Enhances body imageKids who are taught the factually correct names for their private parts often feel confident and empowered about their body. They have greater feelings of ownership over their bodies. “Understanding one's own body, how it works, its function, and what is normal, as well as what is cause for concern gives us confidence in our own body,” says Jillian Amodio, LMSW, licensed therapist, sex educator, founder of Mom‘s for Mental Health, and therapist at Waypoint Wellness Center.Boosts self-esteem and reduces shameWhen we use euphemisms for genitalia, we are teaching our kids that there’s something silly, shameful, or embarrassing about their genitals. On the other hand, when we use more matter-of-fact language, we are teaching the opposite.“Naming a body part by its anatomically correct terms reinforces the idea that there is no shame associated with these parts of our bodies and we do not have to hide behind nicknames because talking about the penis, anus, vagina, vulva, breasts, [and] testes. is just as important and appropriate as talking about any other part of the body,” says Amodio.Reduces the risk of sexual abuseIn their tips for protecting children from abuse, RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) mentions that teaching your kids the correct name for their body parts is a powerful prevention tool. RAINN also emphasizes that using the correct terminology will help accurately describe the situation to you or another caregiver if they do feel they are being harmed. "Using anatomically correct terms reduces the risk of misunderstanding and miscommunication, especially if [and] when a child has concerns about their body, or about the way someone else is touching, or interacting with their body,” Amodio says.Improves communication and trustUsing the correct terms for genitalia enhances communications between you and your child. When children feel in tune with their own bodies, they can more accurately tell you when they are hurt or when something is wrong, explains Jo-Ann Finkelstein, PhD, clinical psychologist in private practice and author of the upcoming book, Sexism & Sensibility: Raising Empowered Resilient Girls in the Modern World. This awareness and comfort can also be helpful in medical settings.Lays the groundwork for healthy sexual development“Correctly naming each and every one of their body parts from the time they’re born assists in health-care and abuse communication,” says Dr. Finkelstein.Reducing the shame around their body parts can set your child up for healthier sexual development down the road (believe us—the teen years will be here before you know it), and encourage a sex-positive environment in your home, where there is no shame around these topics. Setting yourself up for success early on will make it less awkward when its time to talk to your kids about sex.“Using anatomically correct terms removes shame and stigma often associated with genitalia and erogenous zones of the body, and gives youth the confidence and knowledge needed to openly discuss these parts of the body,” says Amodio.It can also help teach kids about boundaries and body autonomy, which are important as teens start dating or becoming interested in sex. “Proper terminology is essential in educating a child about boundaries and respect for one's own body, and the bodies of other people as well,” says Amodio.Misconceptions About Using Anatomically Correct Names for GenitaliaMany of us grew up being told that children using the correct names of their genitals is taboo or inappropriate. As such, some older generations have ingrained misconceptions about this topic—in fact, they likely have similar questions about whether or not its even okay for their kids to see them naked.One main misconception is the idea that using anatomically correct names for genitalia somehow sexualizes children. “The claim that using the correct term sexualizes the child is a misconception, pure and simple,” Dr. Levine says. “Teaching children the correct terms actually works to better protect them.”Other times, parents think that using these terms will somehow make their kids less innocent. Dr. Finkelstein says that we have to be careful to note project our adult sexuality onto our kids. “To them, it’s just their bodies so when we demystify and normalize all parts of it, we’re helping them create a healthy and respectful relationship with their body,” she explains.Strategies for Introducing Anatomically Correct Names for Genitalia to Your ChildrenSo what are some ways that you can introduce your children to the correct names of their genitalia? Here are some strategies to get you started.Read age-appropriate booksIf you are unsure how to broach the subject yourself, or just want some assistance, Dr. Levine recommends taking out some books from the library on the subject. You can ask a children’s librarian for guidance, or your pediatrician may have ideas.Use simple, straight forward languageMake it a point to talk casually and factually about your child’s body, Dr. Finkelstein suggests. There is no need to assign more meaning to one body part over another. Your child’s elbow is just as normal as their penis or vagina. It will make these conversations seem less forced if you stick to bringing them up in real life scenarios. “While changing their diaper, you might say, ‘I’m going to clean your vulva now and put on a fresh diaper so you feel better,’” Dr. Finkelstein recommends. “Or when potty training them, you might say, ‘You have to make sure your penis is pointing into the toilet so the pee goes in the toilet and not on the floor or walls.’”Keep the lines of communication openMake sure that your children have a judgment-free zone to express their thoughts about their genitals. Keep in mind that no matter how relaxed and open you are about these scenarios, kids will get mixed messages from the rest of the world.“When children start to notice that friends use other names for those body parts, you can explain that you’re using the correct names because bodies are amazing and nothing to be ashamed of and you always want them to know how to communicate about their bodies with you and their doctors,” Dr. Finkelstein explains.Make this a long-term practiceOpenness about genitals and normalizing them is something that you can continue throughout your parenting journey. Puberty comes along before you know it, and it’s a time to have open lines of communication about bodies and sex organs.“As a child gets older and has more questions about their body, answer truthfully and with anatomical terms,” Amodio suggests. “Parents can and should discuss such concepts as descending testes, the development of breast buds, pubic hair, menstruation, and changes that occur in the labia as puberty progresses.” Emphasize to your kids that none of these words are dirty, shameful, or taboo, says Amodio.
Related: Everything Parents Need To Know About Precocious Puberty
Key TakeawayOne of the biggest hurdles to adopting the practice of using the correct terms for genitalia is our own biases and discomforts. That’s normal, and okay. Consider discussing your concerns with your child’s pediatrician or a mental health professional. Keep in mind that penis, breast, and vagina are all normal words in the dictionary and in medical textbooks—not the taboo terms you might have brought up to believe they are. “No one should fear them,” Dr. Levine assures. “They empower the child and the parent and can lead to more and more important conversations later on that can be an even greater benefit to our children. Why would anyone not want that?”
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