His Girlfriend Won’t Stop Talking About Getting Engaged, But He’s Not Marrying Her Because She’s Stubborn, Has Been Unemployed For A Year, And Won’t “Put Her Ego Down”
Some people view getting engaged as something they want to tick off a checklist. For instance, after their relationship has passed a certain year, some people expect a ring simply because they have made it so far.
One man is unsure what to do after his girlfriend, who isn’t exactly wife material at the moment, has been pressuring him to pop the question.
He’s 38 and has been with his 37-year-old girlfriend for a little over seven years.
He and his girlfriend have a young daughter, and he has two kids from a previous marriage.
It may sound like they’re practically married already and should be ready to make the commitment, and his girlfriend would agree. She and her mom have been pressuring him to propose, wondering why he hasn’t done it already.
However, he believes despite what they’ve been through, his girlfriend is not ready for the journey that is marriage.
“She’s stubborn to a fault,” he said.
“She’s coming up on a year of being unemployed. During that year, I’ve spent about $40,000 of my income to keep her afloat. I’ve asked her repeatedly to move into my place, which would dramatically lower the burden. She refuses.”
His girlfriend used to make a decent living but unexpectedly was laid off. While he could sympathize with how hard that must’ve been, she hasn’t done much to find a new job and can no longer support herself.
Vasil – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
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Additionally, his girlfriend has insisted on keeping her own place, which has been very inconvenient for him and their daughter. They’ve never lived under the same roof as a family, which is strange, considering he has a four-bedroom house that’s paid off.
However, his girlfriend refuses to live in his current house with their daughter because his ex-wife used to live there.
“She wants me to sell my house and buy us a new house,” he explained.
“The kind of house she wants, even if she sold her house too, would leave us with a mortgage close to $500,000. So [she expects me to] sell my free and clear house [and] put a half million in debt on my shoulders for [her] ego. I’m supposed to make this huge commitment on my side with a proposal, and she can’t even [commit] to putting her ego down?”
He’s talked to his girlfriend several times about how if she moved into his home, she would have so many options for what she could do with her life.
If she wanted, she could be a stay-at-home mom, get a part-time job, go back to school, or get a full-time job.
Still, his girlfriend wants things he feels are irresponsible, like a new expensive house and a diamond ring with no changes to her current situation.
While he loves his girlfriend very much and would love to be married to her, he feels that she should be willing to change her ways and let go of some of her stubbornness before they can commit.
Should he consider proposing to his girlfriend despite his hesitations, or is it a good idea to wait?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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