“AITA If I Don’t Give Anything To My Stepkids After My Husband’s Death?”
Many people think of writing up a will when it’s too late. One will and estate planning survey revealed that only 32% of Americans have a will in place in case something happens. Experts often urge people to get it sorted early, but even if the majority of Americans agree it’s important, they still don’t have a will.
If this husband had it, his current and ex-wife would have avoided a lot of drama. The ex-wife demanded the widow share the deceased husband’s estate with the children from his first marriage. But the woman didn’t feel that was fair, so she decided to ask the Internet’s opinion: should she give something to his other two children?
We reached out to Wealth Consultant Catherine Valega, CFP, and she kindly agreed to comment on the situation. She told Bored Panda more about why estate planning is so important and what financial tools people with children from previous marriages should use. Read her expert insights below!
This woman faced a dilemma about her deceased husband’s estate: to share it with her stepkids or not
Image credits: Dimaberlin / Envato (not the actual photo)
So, she decided to consult with the Internet and asked netizens for some advice
Image credits: Pressmaster / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: lifefail4
People should start thinking about estate planning even if they’re young
A partner passing away is a major life adjustment. According to the Pew Research Center, 55% of breadwinners today in the U.S. are still men. So, if a tragedy happens and the husband passes away, the wife has to fend for herself financially.
The author of this story doesn’t specify whether the husband did any estate planning. She does, however, mention that he had life insurance through his workplace, but, apparently, it “barely covered the funeral.”
Certified Financial Planner Catherine Valega tells Bored Panda that estate planning is something people of all ages need to think about. “Way too many people avoid this,” she says. Valega points out that people can do this even with “easy online attorney-ish softwares” if they lack the funds for a lawyer. Still, she admits that paying an attorney would always be preferable.
“If you’re young and healthy, get a large-term life insurance policy,” Valega recommends. “Review beneficiaries – often,” she adds. “They do change! And if you don’t change [it] when you get remarried, your ex-wife may wind up with everything.”
However, in a particular case like this, according to Valega, it’s best to contact an attorney. Which, it seems, the author has already done. “Legally, I get everything,” she wrote in a comment. So, her dilemma is not a legal one but a moral one.
Estate planning in blended families is complicated and very personal
Image credits: DC Studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The commenters were divided into two camps. Some said the OP is acting incredibly selfish by not considering the children from her husband’s first marriage. Others claimed she owed them nothing; it was the husband’s job to ensure his children from the first marriage get taken care of.
Experts at Ellis Law say that proper estate planning would definitely guarantee the financial safety of the children from a first marriage. In general, these types of situations require very good communication in the blended family, as it is a very sensitive topic.
A partner might take dividing the estate as an insult. In most cases, after all, a spouse inherits their deceased partner’s estate. A decision to divide the estate might, in turn, divide the couple as well.
Still, an individual should let their wishes be known in writing before passing away. “Most people want to provide for their second spouse as well as their children, either by a prior marriage or the current marriage,” Attorney Adair M. Buckner writes. “What you want may not happen, though, unless you have done the right estate planning beforehand.”
No one can really tell the OP what to do in this situation. Hopefully, after reading the input from many netizens, she finds it easier to make a decision.
Many people told her to consult a lawyer, and others gave her some practical tips
Some sided with the author, saying that it was the husband’s job to include his children in the will
Others called her selfish for not being more considerate toward her stepchildren
Many shared similar experiences and stories
The post “AITA If I Don’t Give Anything To My Stepkids After My Husband’s Death?” first appeared on Bored Panda.
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