Being a mom of 2 with almost no income during my divorce was terrifying. These are the steps I took to rebuild my finances.
Jolie Steele reduced her spending drastically to start her life after divorce.Courtesy of Rachel BarehlJolie Steele is a mom of two kids, who are 11 and 8.She knew she wanted a divorce but was scared to make the leap because of her finances.She held pop-up events at her house and rented a room to help rebuild her career.This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Jolie Steele. It has been edited for length and clarity.I got married very young, soon after I turned 22. Over 12 years of marriage, my ex and I grew apart until I knew we had reached the divorce cliché: irreconcilable differences.Despite my certainty, I felt very trapped and very scared. My husband was a physician and the main provider in our house. I owned a consignment shop but was making essentially no money. For a while, I wasn't sure I could leave the marriage because the finances were too daunting.Finally, I worked up the courage. My husband and I separated our lives and our finances two years ago. Since then, I've been focused on rebuilding financially after divorce. I cut my spending drasticallyWe worked with a mediator to facilitate the divorce. Our agreement included spousal and child support, which means I now have access to 40% of our combined income from the previous years. It was a drastic change, and I felt stressed at the start.I adjusted my spending habits immediately. Luckily, I had some savings but didn't want to touch them. Instead, I cut expenses. I canceled my gym membership and every subscription I had. I became the "no" queen, telling the kids we couldn't go to Wendy's for dinner or shopping at Target. The weeks the kids were with their dad, I ate whatever was on hand — like tuna and half-good produce — to save money on groceries.I put aside my ideas of what I should doI made those changes, but I was still hanging on to my idea of what life should look like. I was used to living a cookie-cutter, picture-perfect life. I now joke that I was kind of a snob. Doing something unconventional felt uncomfortable, but I realized I'd have to get uncomfortable to make my new life work.I used my house creativelyAs soon as I got divorced, I closed my consignment shop because I couldn't afford the monthly rent. I continued the business online, however, and converted my walk-out basement into a work area. I hosted pop-up sales, where my dedicated customers could shop in the basement space.I also started renting out a room in our home (exclusively to women, for safety reasons). I rented to traveling healthcare workers and now host a college student. That rent covers about one-third of my mortgage. I told my kids that we had plenty of space, so we were going to host people who needed to travel for work. For them, I didn't frame it in terms of making money.I started pursuing career optionsAlthough I always worked in some way, my work was seen as a hobby that always came second to my husband's career. I sacrificed a lot of my prime years and career trajectory because, at the time, I felt it was a worthy sacrifice for my family and our home life. Looking back, I was shooting myself in the foot because I had little traditional job experience to re-enter the workforce.I applied for many jobs and started side hustles. I did freelance writing and created a paid Substack newsletter about divorce that generated a few hundred dollars each month.I said no to the wrong jobEventually, I was offered a full-time, in-person e-commerce position. The financial stability was tempting, but I turned it down because I didn't want to spend even more time away from my kids.Instead, I took a financial risk and spent money to become a life coach. In the first few months, I made significantly more money than I would have in the role I turned down.I'm ending spousal support earlyReceiving spousal support has become contentious as my life moves forward after divorce. At this point, I feel like it's more harm than help, so I'm negotiating an early end to those payments.I am not entirely certain what life will look like without those payments. But over the past two years I've learned I can trust myself to provide for my family. I would rather pay the financial price and follow that self-trust than deal with contention.Read the original article on Business Insider
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