She Wants To Include An Infidelity Clause In Her Prenup That Would Force Whoever Cheats To Forfeit All Their Joint Assets And Pay Back $100,000 For The Full Cost Of Their Wedding, But Her Fiancé Thinks It’s Unfair
This 27-year-old woman and her fiancé, who is 29, recently got engaged and are planning to tie the knot next year. But, before they officially get married, she’s interested in getting a prenuptial agreement – because they both have solid finances.
For some context, she and her fiancé both work in healthcare and earn similar low-to-mid six-figure salaries. Her fiancé has more savings and investments, while she inherited two rental properties that generate enough income for her to live off of if she wanted to.
So, when it comes to money, they are more or less in the same boat wealth-wise.
As for their relationship, she and her fiancé were friends for three years and dated for four years before they got engaged. Right after he proposed, and she said yes, she also made it clear that she wanted to get a prenup. Her fiancé was on board with this, too.
This led them to begin looking into some family lawyers and discuss the terms they both wanted in the agreement.
She and her fiancé agreed on the more basic stuff together, including how all of their possessions acquired prior to marriage would be off-limits during a divorce. Then, anything they bought jointly while wed would be sold, and the proceeds would be split between them equally.
Additionally, they agreed that no alimony would be paid, and her fiancé believed these terms were pretty fair.
The only problem he had, though, was with a different term she wanted to add to the prenup – an infidelity and abuse clause.
This was a non-negotiable for her because, when she was a kid, her father cheated, and it caused her parents to go through a super ugly divorce.
annanahabed – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
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“And it spanned years, as my mom couldn’t leave since she was a stay-at-home mom with no income, and she wouldn’t even if she could since she thought she could change him,” she recalled.
“I, unfortunately, was way more involved than a child should have been and became a proxy therapist and referee to the two of them.”
She dealt with this from the time she was 14-years-old until she was 19 when her parents finally split. And it left her with some real trauma.
That’s why she believes the infidelity clause is necessary to ensure she never has to experience what her mom did.
The specific terms of this clause state that if either she or her fiancé cheats or physically abuses the other, all of their joint assets – and the decision of whether to keep or sell them – will go to the other party. On top of that, the person who cheated will need to pay back the entire cost of their wedding to the other party.
“Which is around $100,000 from our estimates, which we are splitting between the two of us,” she revealed.
She realizes that to prove cheating and abuse, they will need proper evidence. Once they find lawyers and formally begin drafting the prenup, she also wants to define exactly what would constitute cheating.
But, despite believing her terms were completely justified, her fiancé thinks otherwise. He claimed it would be totally unfair to expect the person who cheated to pay $100,000 for the cost of their wedding. He even called this “borderline manipulative” by making that person stay in the marriage.
“In my opinion, it’s more of a penalty, similar to what you would pay if you broke a contract, and marriage is essentially a contract. If a person violates it, I feel it is fair to expect them to pay compensation, like any other contract,” she reasoned.
Well, her fiancé insists that something like that should be based on trust more than anything else. And the fact she suggested including such a clause has led him to feel like she doesn’t trust him.
However, according to her, that simply is not true.
“It isn’t about trust. If I didn’t trust him, I would have never agreed to marry or even date him since I was all set to essentially stay single after everything. I do trust him,” she vented.
Nonetheless, she and her fiancé have reached an impasse over this. After having arguments about the infidelity clause that got nowhere, they’ve decided to wait until they meet with their lawyers to work everything out.
In the meantime, his reaction to it all has pushed her to second-guess herself, and she’s worried that perhaps she is projecting her parent’s relationship onto theirs.
So now, she’s not sure if asking for such a strict infidelity clause to be included in the prenup was actually unreasonable of her.
Are you in favor of infidelity clauses? If so, are her terms too punitive or not?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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