I found out my partner of 10 years was leading a disturbing double life
By ELLEN COUGHLAN
A woman found out that her partner of 10 years had a secret life catfishing women online after she discovered his burner phone.
Clara, from Cork, Ireland, whose name was changed to protect her identity, found out that her partner had been using the image of another man to form online relationships with at least three other women.
In 2023, school teacher Clara, now 35, was doing some household chores when she stumbled upon a second mobile phone in her partner Brian's gym bag - and noticed there was a missed call from a woman called Valerie.
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Brian was on a night out at the time and Clara arranged to pick him up and confront him about the secret phone after speaking to one of her friends.
However, when Brian refused to unlock the burner phone or tell Clara anything about Valerie, she decided he couldn't come back home with her and dropped him off at his parents' house.
Clara then decided to get some answers from Valerie and texted her to ask why she'd been messaging Brian.
Valerie quickly replied to Clara's text and told her that she had no idea who Brian was and believed she had been messaging a man named Ryan. she thought she was massaging a guy called Ryan.
This is how Clara found out that Brian, who was a white man in his 30s from Cork, was pretending to be a muscly black man in his late 20s from Athlone.
Clara, from Cork, Ireland, who's name was changed to protect her identity, found out that her partner of 10 years had a secret life catfishing women online- however he claimed it was simply a bit of 'entertainment' for him (stock image)
Speaking to the Irish Independent John Meagher, Clara revealed: 'Valerie told me that there had been a sexual component to their conversations.'
The following day, Brian told Clara he had stolen the phtos of a Black man from a dating app and created a fake profile to message other women - including Valerie, who he had been speaking to for 18 months.
He also confessed to having online relationships with three other women - but reduced his actions to 'a form of trolling'.
Brian tried to reassure Clara that his conversations only amounted to a bit of fun and that he wasn't ever planning to cheat on her.
However, the teacher insisted his messages were still a form of 'emotional cheating.'
'I think he got a kick out of pretending to be someone else completely,' Clara, who hoped to marry Brian one day, said.
She described him as a 'boringly normal' man and never once thought he could cheat on her - much less imagine Brian was leading a double life.
During an appearance on the Indo Daily podcast, Meagher said: 'He seemed to derive this kind of unhealthy pleasure out of pretending to be someone else and having all these conversations. I suppose he felt like his life wasn't as exciting as it could be.
Clara found out that Brian, who was a white man in his 30's from Cork, was pretending to be a muscly black man in his late 20s from Athlone (stock image)
'He was absolutely mortified that he had been caught, and terrified that anyone else would find out.
'He is the last person in the world that you'd think would have this other, secret life. I mean, he wasn't a "player", or anything like that. And he has a good, professional job.' Clara added.
Since she discovered Brian's terrible secret, Clara has spent a lot of time reading about people who catfish others - only to realise they are all actually 'outwardly normal people.'
Clara said she actually feels sorry for the other women who wasted their time with the fake Ryan.
Meagher said: 'Even though she has reconciled with what had gone on, she said she suffers with a lot of trust issues and she has been through a lot of counselling.
'If her current partner is out of the room for an extended period of time she's wondering is he contacting somebody and she said she would of never ever been this kind of person before this happened.'
Clara and Brian spent a few months trying to salvage the relationship, however the damage was already done and they split more than 18 months ago.
She claimed that Brian was unable to face her parents after what happened and she said she was 'embarrassed' too.
Faye Louise Brennan also had photos stolen and used to make fake profiles - with podcaster Johnny B being fooled by the catfish
The 2 Johnnies Podcast, presented by Johnny 'B' O'Brien and Johnny 'Smacks' McMahon (pictured) started a conversation regarding catfishing
Another worrying detail came to light around this time when Clara also found out that Brian had been attempting to buy a house with his father without telling her.
She is now in a new relationship, with David, who she met on the Bumble dating app, and she suspects Brian might be also in another relationship - but she is unsure if he is still catfishing or not.
Bizarrely, Clara revealed that the couple even listened to the Catfishing story the 'GAA Catfish' together in 2022, and little did she know her own partner was doing the same to women.
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Influencers have identities stolen by catfish who's hoodwinked sports stars and celebs for 15 years
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Known as the 'GAA Catfish', the tale of the mystery woman became a sensation in Ireland when she targeted comedian and podcast host Johnny 'B' O'Brien.
Realising the woman he'd met on Instagram didn't exist after she failed to show in person for a date, he made a podcast episode about the whole affair and it soon emerged that the same woman had been targeting celebrities and sports stars in the GAA - Ireland's Gaelic Athletic Association.
What's more she had stolen the identities of popular influencers to create fake dating app and social media profiles, including Faye Louise Brennan who has more than 116,000 TikTok followers.
London-based influencer Lea Broc - the ex-girlfriend of Love Island's Casey O'Gorman - also had her photos stolen and used by the catfish, who has created aliases including 'Cora O'Donovan' and 'Aoife Kennedy' to target an estimated 40 men in the entertainment and sports world in Ireland.
Earlier this year, it emerged that the catfish is the subject of an official police probe in Northern Ireland after the PSNI received a complaint of alleged harassment.
And in a further twist, just this week, a teacher from Armagh named Niamh Farrell who works at Coláiste Éanna in South Dublin, claimed she has been wrongly outed as the Catfish.
She appeared at the High Court in Dublin where she was granted a short-term injunction preventing the school from continuing disciplinary proceedings against her arising from the allegations.
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