Her Boyfriend Proposed But She Gave Back The Ring, And Now She Feels Like She Doesn’t Love Him Anymore
For more than six years, this 24-year-old woman has been with her boyfriend, who is the same age as her.
They began dating as high school came to an end, and their relationship survived their college years.
Four years ago, they moved in together, and she believes they’re actually quite compatible as a couple.
“We have great communication, have never yelled at each other, and talk openly about our thoughts and feelings,” she explained.
“Our relationship isn’t exactly full of romance or passion, but we love each other. Recently, we watched Dune Part Two together. I saw Austin Butler’s character come up, so I did what I normally do: yap about celebrities and what I know about them.”
She told her boyfriend about how she knew two of the celebs in the movie were in a relationship for close to a decade before splitting up, and the rumors were that it ended after one wanted to have kids while the other was more career-oriented.
She instantly thought about how she would hate to waste nine years on a guy without getting married, but then it dawned on her she’s close to being in that exact position.
She’s currently six years into a relationship with her boyfriend, and she’s not married, but she thought she would be by now.
Technically, she could have been since her boyfriend proposed last April on their anniversary.
Travis – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
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“The proposal itself was not romantic, and I felt I had to beg for a proposal leading up to it, but I pushed those feelings aside since I was so happy we were engaged,” she said.
“Time passes, we move to a new city, and he gets a new job in November that requires him to travel for work every other week. I’m not at all happy with it since I’m, for lack of a better word, clingy, but I still do my best not to unload my feelings onto him.”
Earlier this year, she struggled with severe depression and got help from a therapist. Throughout her struggles with her mental health, she asked her boyfriend to come home more frequently, as she felt a lack of support from him.
In the following months, she told her boyfriend she felt like they were not actually in a relationship and that he cared more about his job than her.
Several times, she called her boyfriend up in tears and pleaded with him to come home even for one evening.
She felt overwhelmingly alone in the world and just wanted her boyfriend there with her to help her feel better.
“This sadness would turn to anger when he responded with, “I’m doing this job so we could have a future together,” she added.
“I told him a few times that he’s gone more than he’s home and that if nothing changes, we won’t have a future together. I had hoped this would wake him up to how badly I needed him, but sadly, it didn’t.”
“In April, before our 6-year anniversary, I sat him down and gave him the engagement ring back. I explained to him that I felt like we were stuck in an endless loop, having the same convos over and over again.”
She was honest about not feeling important in her boyfriend’s life and that she wanted to feel that way, let alone be with someone who doesn’t spend enough time with her.
Her boyfriend replied that he “spoiled” her with his last job, as he worked normal hours and was home with her after 5 p.m.
She didn’t understand her boyfriend’s reasoning, so she tried to make him see that she would like to try to fix their relationship, even with the ending of their engagement.
He agreed to work things out, and they have gone to counseling together. Their therapist said to her boyfriend she was giving all of herself in the relationship while he didn’t do the same.
She hoped the therapist validating her feelings would help her boyfriend see things from her side, but it didn’t quite do that.
While they’re in a much better place as a couple, she feels like they’re more like roommates and best friends than anything else.
Things have not truly changed, and she doubts they ever will. Her boyfriend doesn’t get her needs and wants.
“I’m worried I mentally checked out when I gave him the ring back,” she added. “I love him, but I don’t feel in love with him anymore.”
“I can’t imagine a life without him but this also isn’t the life I pictured for myself. He still isn’t willing to change anything on his end but wants me here waiting for him. I don’t know what to do, say, or think anymore where it concerns him. I don’t want to throw away the years we’ve spent together, but I also don’t know how we can compromise.”
“I’m actually sitting here wanting him to leave for work so I can continue on with my life for the week he’s gone. Am I in a dead-end relationship? If I am, I don’t think I will have the strength to leave him. How can I get him to see my point of view?”
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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