What To Know About Painful Sex After Birth
Learn how to relieve painful sex after birth, when you can expect sex to feel better, and how to make it more pleasurable.Medically reviewed by Alyssa Dweck, MS, MD, FACOGMedically reviewed by Alyssa Dweck, MS, MD, FACOGOnce your pregnancy is over and you give birth, and it often takes some time to feel like your old self again. Once you get the green light from your health care provider, you might be ready to physically reconnect with your partner. But what happens when you have painful sex after birth?Hormonal changes and birth-related discomfort can impact your sexual experience postpartum. If you're not enjoying sex after birth, you're certainly not alone, but you'll be happy to hear solutions exist that can improve the situation—as long as you feel emotionally ready to intimate with your partner again.Let's explore some common postpartum sexual issues and learn about the steps you can take to help you get back to enjoying intimacy.
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When Can You Have Sex Postpartum?Regardless of whether you delivered your baby vaginally or via C-section, most health care providers suggest waiting six weeks after having your baby to resume intercourse. This will give your body a chance to heal and minimize the risk of complications associated with healing after birth.Within this suggested timeframe, your postpartum bleeding will stop and any tears will heal without any long-term complications (although if you have a severe tear you should consult with your doctor about treatments). It also takes time for your cervix to close. Before you attempt sex, you should check in with your health care provider (this usually involves a physical exam). Resuming sex before your provider gives you the go-ahead increases the risk of both pain and infection.Will Sex Feel the Same?Pregnancy, labor, and delivering your baby will cause major changes to your body, so it's normal for sex not to feel the same postpartum as it did before you had your baby. While it may not necessarily be painful, it could feel different."Your vaginal tissues and muscles have been stretched, and hormonal changes—especially if you are breastfeeding—have altered blood flow," says Andrea Chisholm, MD, a board-certified obstetrician, and gynecologist. "All of these changes together will often decrease sensation, making sex a bit less pleasurable."Don't worry—if you're experiencing discomfort, it won't last forever."The good news is this is almost always temporary," Dr. Chisholm adds. "With time, normalization of hormone levels, and some pelvic floor strengthening like Kegel exercises, things will get back to pretty much normal."Changes You May NoticeVaginal Dryness: Hormonal changes, especially in breastfeeding parents, can contribute to vaginal dryness. Since lactation causes estrogen levels to drop, it's common to find you aren't well-lubricated during sex. An over-the-counter lubricant can help ease this discomfort. If you are experiencing vaginal dryness, you might also consider using a vaginal moisturizer several times per week, especially if you plan to breastfeed long term. Pain From Scar Tissue: Tearing during delivery can also cause postpartum pain due to the scar tissue developing during the healing process. This can cause discomfort upon insertion that may continue during intercourse. Some find they only have pain during deep penetration, which can signify the need for pelvic floor therapy.Musculoskeletal Damage: Lower back, pelvic, and other joint pain is fairly common postpartum. "For almost every other musculoskeletal injury, part of the recovery process typically includes some degree of physical therapy," says Dr. Chisolm. "The same is true with pregnancy and childbirth. One could argue that all postpartum [people] would benefit from some amount of pelvic floor therapy."How Is Pelvic Floor Therapy Performed?Pelvic floor therapy works the pelvic floor muscles, tissues, and ligaments that support that region of your body. Those who seek postpartum pelvic floor therapy may notice an increase in arousal and orgasms.The type of pelvic floor therapy you receive may vary. Your physical therapist will help determine which form of pelvic floor therapy will most effectively treat your symptoms.Some common methods include:Exercise. Your therapist will teach you how to contract (then relax) your pelvic floor muscles. This movement can help strengthen your muscles, as well as help with flexibility.Massage. For patients struggling with blood circulation or mobility, a physical therapist may massage the area manually to help improve symptoms.Electrical stimulation. Patients can learn to contract their muscles using a low-voltage current to help synchronize their pelvic contractions.Dilators. If you're stressed over penetration, vaginal dilators are tube-shaped devices that can help you relax your muscles to allow for a smoother entry. Dilators mechanically stretch the vaginal opening and they help train the brain that penetration doesn't have to hurt so that muscle tightening is less likely to occur involuntarily.Painful Sex After BirthYou don't have to suffer through painful postpartum sex. In addition to working with a professional pelvic floor therapist, there are things you can do on your own.For instance, different sexual positions may offer you more control. If missionary or rear entry feels too intense, try a position like being on top, which allows you to determine penetration depth. Listen to Your BodyIf something feels not quite right, contact your health care provider to find out whether your body needs more time to heal or if you may benefit from physical therapy to improve your sexual experience. Do not feel pressured to engage in physical intimacy if it feels too painful.
Ways to ease discomfort:Using lubricant. Being well-lubricated during postpartum sex is vital, especially in alleviating insertion pain. Nursing parents are more likely to experience vaginal dryness, making a lubricant highly beneficial.Perineal massage. Massaging the area between your vagina and anus can improve scar tissue mobility. If you find postpartum sex painful around the vaginal opening, perineal massage is a worthwhile option.Experimentation. Pleasurable postpartum sex looks different for every couple. If you're no longer excited about former positions or sexual acts, don't feel obligated to continue with your old routine. Mutual masturbation, oral sex, and massages are intimate ways to connect with your partner without penetration. For more Parents news, make sure to sign up for our newsletter! Read the original article on Parents.
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