How Different Cultures Recognize a Child's Coming of Age
Learn the meaning of "coming of age" in different regions and in cultural traditions.Fact checked by Sarah ScottFact checked by Sarah ScottComing of age is a term used to describe the transition from childhood to adulthood. For some cultures, coming of age is determined when a teenager reaches a certain birthday and is no longer considered a minor. For example, when your child turns 18, you might consider that milestone as a coming of age.Other cultures determine a child's coming of age when they hit puberty. Many religions and cultural and family traditions have an official coming-of-age ceremony to observe the occasion. These usually involve both family and community.
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Definitions of Coming of AgeThe coming of age milestone is an important one and can also be a difficult transition, as some children are hesitant to leave childhood behind. There are many different ways to define the expression "of age." For example:Acquiring a legally significant age (in the United States, either 18 or 21)Confirming an individual as a responsible adult within a religious communityExperiencing a moment of epiphany in which childhood is set asidePuberty (or, in some cases, loss of virginity)Taking responsibility for oneself and one's personal choices
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Coming of Age CeremoniesMany cultures and religions have specific events, ceremonies, or celebrations associated with coming of age. Depending upon your cultural and religious background, your child may celebrate one or more of these milestones. Or, you may wish to adapt a tradition to suit your family's needs and beliefs.Bar or bat mitzvahAt the age of 13, Jewish teens take part in an important and joyful religious ceremony called a bar mitzvah (for those who identify as boys; for those who identify as girls, bat mitzvah). This event represents the culmination of years of Hebrew and Torah study and signifies the child's entrance into adulthood. A party usually follows the religious service. Of course, modern American 13-year-olds are not literally adults, but the event has great traditional importance.ConfirmationCatholic teens are confirmed in their faith as one of the three most important sacraments (along with baptism and the Eucharist). An adult sponsors teenagers during their confirmation and may help them choose a confirmation name, usually a saint's name. As with Jewish teens, Catholic teens are not legally adults but take on a more adult role in the church as full members of the congregation. Other Christian denominations also confirm teen members of the congregation.Muslim adulthoodWhile there is no official ceremony or celebration, after puberty, Muslim teens are considered adults and have the same obligations as adults. These include joining their community in daily prayers, fasting during the holy month of Ramadan, and performing a Hajj pilgrimage once in their lifetime.
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QuinceaneraIn the Mexican, Puerto Rican, Cuban, Central and South American traditions, 15-year-old identifying girls go through a semi-religious rite and celebration to mark their coming of age. The event is usually large, similar to a wedding, and included friends and relatives joining the family of the 15-year-old to celebrate.Sweet 16Many American families celebrate their child's coming of age with a "Sweet 16" party. This is usually a large birthday party that includes both friends and family.
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Challenges of Coming of AgeLiterature, movies, and music often refer to the coming of age theme and the problems or challenges associated with the transition. For parents, parenting a child in the midst of coming of age can be difficult as teens deal with broken hearts, disappointment, finding their own identities—including questioning their gender identity—and the challenges of increased responsibility, all for the first time.For children, coming of age can be exciting as they separate from their parents and form new social circles. However, it can also be a sad time for adolescents who fear the future and miss the safety of childhood.
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