She’s Left Feeling Confused After Her Boyfriend Admitted He Doesn’t Believe In Monogamy, So She Should Find Another Man
For almost five years now, this 26-year-old woman has been dating her 31-year-old boyfriend, and they are monogamous by all means.
They live together, too; that’s how serious their relationship is. Recently, they were chatting about the future.
She doesn’t feel like she has to be married, but she ideally would like a promise ring or something to symbolize her boyfriend’s commitment to her, and he knows this.
Now, a year ago, her boyfriend started talking about having kids, and back then, she said she would need an obvious type of commitment in order to feel comfortable enough to start a family together.
She comes from a broken home, as does her boyfriend, and if she has children in the future, she would hate for them to grow up the same way.
She also confessed to her boyfriend her fears about being a single mom, and her boyfriend mentioned she would be fine since she has wonderful friends and family members.
But circling back to the most recent conversation they had when she brought up a promise ring, her boyfriend refused to get one for her.
Her boyfriend admitted that he could picture spending the next five years with her, and perhaps they could be together longer than that, but he wasn’t interested in something more long-term.
“He told me, “If you want to be with someone forever, you should go be with someone else.” Which was very painful because this has been the longest relationship in my adult life,” she added.
Ivan – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
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“Apparently, he doesn’t believe in monogamy, which is what I thought our relationship has been since the beginning. A lot of confusion with that because now I question if the last nearly 5 years I’ve been with this person was even real.”
“I don’t want to feel like a burden, and I don’t know why he ever asked me to be his girlfriend if he doesn’t believe in that kind of thing anyway. I’m just truly confused because it didn’t feel like I was speaking to him, just a stranger or something.”
She actually feels blindsided, especially since the relationship she has with her boyfriend is excellent overall, and they never get into disagreements.
She can’t ignore what her boyfriend told her about finding a new man if she wants to be monogamous.
So not only is she totally confused about his weird position on romance, but she feels like he lied to her, too, and that hurts a great deal.
“I feel that things went great up until the last year because I’ve had a lot of unexpected uncontrollable situations that have been putting a strain on my happiness (not regarding the relationship), and everything hasn’t been sunshine and rainbows,” she continued.
“I’m at a loss this has been a huge slap in the face. I thought we were on the same page up until now, especially when he brought up children.”
“Is it so crazy to ask for a little commitment? Or delusional to want to grow old and have romance together (he’s not much of a romance guy)? I’m pretty sure he’s just comfortable and not deeply in love with me.”
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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