5 Revealing Questions To Ask A Guy To Know His Intentions
If you want some questions to ask a guy to know his intentions, you’re in good hands.
I have 5 questions you will ever need in order to know what he wants for sure.
There’s nothing more important when you’re dating than to figure out whether you’re dating a good natured, honest and commitment-friendly guy.
You wouldn’t want to get invested in an avoidant guy or a toxic and manipulative guy if you can help it.
So you need to figure out what kind of guy he is as early as possible.
Here’s a specially crafted quiz we made that will help you figure out how commitment-friendly your guy is.
Plenty of men have perfected their pick up “game”, and you want to be able to figure these guys out, and even better, put them on their back foot.
Some guys know how to prey on women just to get sex from them. They will present themselves as your ideal guy, but secretly they’re anything but.
Of course, there are plenty of guys out there who are the real deal as well (I’m married to one, and so are many other women), so don’t ever lose hope.
One way to suss him out is to have some high value, spontaneous and playful questions to ask a guy to know his intentions.
We believe that you shouldn’t use serious and boring questions when trying to uncover a guy’s intentions.
Let’s talk about why that is right now.
Do the quiz: how commitment friendly is my man?
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Fact: Some men will string you along for as long as you will tolerate and never fully commit to you. Answer these 8 questions to discover precisely how commitment friendly your man is.
1. When I speak to other guys, and give attention to other men...
He gets jealous and isn't afraid to show it.
I know he gets jealous underneath but he tries to keep it cool
He doesn't have a hint of jealousy!
I don't know.
2. How willing is he to have a fight or argument with me?
He tries hard to avoid fights or arguments
He always wants things his way and won't listen to me
He doesn't show any avoidance to arguments.
I don't know.
3. What is his relationship with his father like?
He has a huge respect and talks fondly of his father.
There's not really a relationship between him and his father.
He talks about his father with disdain.
I don't know.
4. When I first started dating him, he mentioned commitment & long term relationships
Quite often, and he has been happy talking about it.
Occasionally, and he's a bit guarded when talking about it.
Never, he never likes to mention commitment at all.
I'm not sure...
5. How many long term committed relationships has he had?
At least 3 long term relationships...
Just one or two.
He's never had a long term relationship before...
I don't know...
6. How often does he push for sex?
All the time, and he gets pissed off if I don't give him sex.
Rarely ever, he cares about how I feel.
Never, he is a real gentleman
I'm not sure...
7. How keen is he to introduce you to his friends and family
Very keen, he wants everyone to get along with me.
He's not sure, he says he needs to find the right time.
Not keen at all, he tends to avoid the topic and drag it out.
I'm not sure...
8. How much effort has he shown you that he wants to learn about your friends and family?
Not much at all, he never asks me about my friends or family.
On the odd occasion, but he doesn't care about it too deeply.
He is always very fascinated with my friends and family
I don't really know...
Amazing! Let's look at your results...
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In your personalised results email, we will also give you free advice and coaching to help you inspire a deep sense of emotional commitment from the man of your choice, even if you've had no luck with men so far.
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Questions to Ask A Guy to Know His Intentions Should Be Playful
Before we get into them, let me be very clear on why you need playful questions rather than serious, “interview” like questions.
The point of having questions to ask a guy to know his intentions is to create moments of spontaneity, because that creates more fun in romance.
With playful questions, you will find that a good guy will enjoy them and feel more attraction towards you.
However, if you’re dealing with a narcissist or even a psychopath, these playful questions will actually reveal him.
So the benefit is two-fold.
Every toxic guy has a tired old pattern of behaving in dating. This tired old pattern is easy to catch out if you’re smart enough to be playful and to banter.
The all-important intention with playful questions is also to build high value banter with the right guy.
Here’s What’s Wrong With Asking Guys SERIOUS Questions
Here’s the challenge with the more “serious” questions to ask a guy to know his intentions:
You run the risk of creating disconnects with good, high value men when you lead with serious, boring, interview-like questions.
Not all serious questions are bad of course, but there’s huge value in questions that create spontaneity.
Whilst all good, emotionally healthy men want to feel emotional attraction and emotional connection with a woman, manipulative players who have their own game to play will not want to feel these things.
That’s not their goal.
Why?
Because they don’t want to fall in love.
They want what they want (ie: sex) at any cost, and they usually don’t care about you.
So if you lead with questions that create playful banter with a guy, you’ll reveal the low quality guy and excite the high value guy.
High value banter is what creates real romantic tension and triggers emotional attraction as well as emotional connection with the high value guy.
Are these Questions Going to Make Me Look “Insecure”?
After reading these questions you (like some women out there) might wonder whether asking these questions would make you look insecure and low value.
Absolutely not.
The truth here is that it’s only insecure people who would think that these questions would make them look insecure (as if asking these questions are somehow revealing the depth of their insecurity).
It’s not the questions you ask, but the place you ask them from (how you ask them!)
If you’re playful, then the questions come across as playful, and playful men will pick up on it instantly – plus they’ll really enjoy your warmth and playfulness to boot.
If however, you don’t have much playfulness within you, then it’s going to be hard to bring out the playfulness in men.
So I do understand your concerns here (if you’re normally a highly strung, stressed out and serious woman. Which let’s be honest here – a lot of us are).
But playfulness is the KEY to building emotional attraction with men, so it’s necessary.
I am sorry to say this (for the ladies who don’t have much humor in their lives), but it’s ok to be warm and playful and to lead with that warmth and playfulness, since toxic men will NOT be able to reciprocate it.
And that’s the premise behind me creating these questions.
So:
Here are five high value and playful questions that will build spontaneity and emotional attraction with the right guy, whilst revealing the bad intent of the “wrong” guy.
Question #1: “So when do I get to meet your other girlfriends?”
Said with playfulness and a smile of course. Or a smiling emoji if you’re asking it through text message.
The idea here is to put him on the spot and create a moment of playful spontaneity. From that spontaneity, you can get a more accurate picture of his character.
Here’s the thing…
Men who often lie to women are very good at putting on a show. It’s well rehearsed.
Your job is to see past his facade and not get caught up by his “show”.
The way to do this is through playful spontaneity.
Any guy who is actually messing around with many women will have to work extremely hard not to be taken aback when you ask him this question.
Is it mean to ask this question?
No. It’s done through playfulness.
Let me ask you, Is it mean to waste months and years of your life on a player?
Well, yes. It’s mean to yourself.
So be bold, and don’t be afraid to not be boring.
Do the quiz: Which of these 8 feminine archetypes am i?
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Which one of these 8 feminine archetypes are you? Answer these 21 questions to discover which feminine archetype you are and how it positively and negatively affects every relationship you have. (Especially your intimate relationship with men.)
1. Regarding sex...
I prefer he initiated sex with me
I’m more than comfortable taking what I want from him in the bedroom
2. I would prefer...
Pleasure of the mind
Pleasure of the soul
3. True or false... A man and a woman should get along if they love each other.
True
False
I don't know...
4. When a friend is upset, my first instinct is to:
Run away, I’ve been used by enough friends
Give them some space until they're ready to talk.
Suggest practical solutions to their problems.
Give them a hug and listen to them
5. I would prefer to be more...
Liked by others
Envied by others
6. In terms of dancing…
I love to dance and move my body
I find it a chore
7. When someone hurts themselves...
I rush to see if they need help
I’d rather see them help themselves
8. In social situations, I am...
The peacemaker who ensures everyone feels included.
The dominant personality who likes to lead.
The enigmatic figure who draws others in with mystery.
The observer who watches from the sidelines.
9. In my current or previous relationship…
I enjoy how a man is so different to me
I get annoyed that a man is so different to me
We are so different I often thought I’d be better off alone
His differences make me appreciate and love him more
10. It’s more important to…
Pursue my own dreams and goals
Live cohesively in my tribe
11. On a rainy day, I prefer…
The safety and warmth of my home
The excitement of a new exotic location
12. When I meet someone for the first time, I get a gut feeling whether I can trust them or not.
Very true
It usually takes me a while to figure this out
13. In my old age, it’s more important to look back and know that
You’ve connected with others and created strong bonds
You’ve achieved all your dreams
You had truly cared about those around you
You ticked everything off of your bucket list
14. When I’m faced with something unknown, I trust
My gut feelings more than my thoughts
My thoughts more than my gut feelings
15. Confrontations are...
To be avoided if possible
Can often work in my favour
16. I can often feel other people’s intentions from a mile away
True
False
17. Which is more true?
Conflicts serve a good purpose in my relationship
Conflicts are to be avoided in my relationship
Conflict will cause my relationship to die
With the right man, conflicts only strengthen our relationship
18. How important are other people’s feelings?
Super important to me.
Little importance to me.
Other people’s feelings are none of my business.
19. I believe in premonitions
True
False
I’m willing to entertain the idea
It’s a load of nonsense
20. The thought of newborn babies make me feel…
Very emotional and tender
Terrified
Happy and calm
I’m relatively indifferent to newborn babies
21. When I have to make a tough decision…
My brain always knows the better answer
My gut always tells me what to do
I will get all the facts and data and make a decision
Give it some time and the answer will come to me
Amazing! Let's look at your results...
We are analysing your feminine archetype right now and preparing your personalised summary.
Here’s something interesting to know before moving forward…
Every single one of these archetypes has strengths and weaknesses. No matter how ego stroking it may be to identify with your archetype, know that it’s just a starting point.
It is your job to be aware of the strengths and weaknesses so that you can grow, evolve and become who you are meant to become.
Ultimately you want to become a full multi-dimensional human being. In order to truly become a high value individual, you want to tap into the value that every part of you has to bring to the table.
This feminine archetype quiz is one step along this journey to help you discover who you are, and who you will become.
So here is the next step.
Please enter your first name and email below so that we can safely deliver your feminine archetype results and send to you the extended explanation. (As well as give you $3,765 worth of coaching bonuses!)
And yes, we'll treat your email like it was our firstborn.
Question #2: “So how long is it going to take for you to murder me in cold blood like many other charming psychopathic serial killers?”
Why is this on the list of questions to ask a guy to know his intentions?
Because it’s unexpected. As such it creates a moment of spontaneity, hopefully a playful one.
From that place of spontaneity, you get to who he really is behind the masks and facades.
And because of the very slight chance that he is in fact a psychopath or (god forbid), a serial killer, you’ll see that look on his face.
Which look? You may ask.The surprised look of “how did you know my plans??” on his face.
No psychopath expects any woman to be this smart and this playful about such a serious and horrible subject.
So, ask it with one intention: to watch how he responds. There are three possible responses a guy could give you here.
He’ll get defensive (let’s hope not) and perhaps react in anger, accusing you of being a jaded man-hater
He’ll reassure you that he would never have such intent (and perhaps worry that you’ve actually encountered a man like that in the past)
He’ll be attuned enough to see that you’re just bantering with him, and he’ll banter back playfully.
Believe it or not (because honestly it’s hard to believe it as a woman), a lot more men than you think will respond with playful banter when you ask them this.
Emotionally mature and healthy men naturally “get” banter, because they’re connection oriented!
And when a man genuinely wants to connect with you, he will easily attune himself to your intentions.
We also cannot forget: banter is the language a lot of men use with each other to communicate.
It comes naturally for securely attached men, and it serves a great purpose for them: to reduce tension and to form connections and trust with one another.
Securely attached women are also more comfortable with banter, though they may have specific tastes about what type of banter they prefer.
By the way, would you like to find out whether you’re securely attached or insecurely attached? You’re in luck, because we have a super quick and easy quiz below that will help you find out…
(Why is this important? It is because your core attachment style largely dictates and influences what happens in your relationship. Thus it’s imperative you understand your core attachment style!)
Question #3: “So…what does your wife think about you meeting me?”
I can’t help but laugh at this one myself (haha).
If he really does have a wife, you’ll catch the guilty look or the defensive posture instantly.
Related: 12 Blatant Signs A Married Man Is Using You.
If you’re afraid to use this, don’t be!
Most good men will know exactly how to deal with it, and they’ll also find humour in it, because you’ll only be asking the question from a playful place.
Again, we are seeking those moments of spontaneity in order for us to discover more of the truth.
This is also helpful for building emotional attraction because it leads into roleplaying banter, which is extremely important for igniting that romantic tension with a guy.
It can even be useful for those in a relationship or marriage in order to keep the spark alive.
Just as an example, when I approach my husband in an overly affectionate way, it’s not rare for him to say something playful like this to me:
“Um… I have a wife you know…”
Or…
“I’m not sure how my wife would feel about this.”
It’s fun and it’s a harmless way to build a solid connection and excitement between the two of you.
If you’d like more examples you can copy and paste, let me invite you to take our free class on high value banter. (My man David runs this free class and I highly recommend you listen to it.)
CLICK here to discover why you as a woman need to use the dark art of “High Value Banter” in order to quickly weed out the wrong types of men and create emotional attraction with the “BEST of MEN”! (…Even if no man has ever given you any love and all you’ve encountered so far are pen pals, ghosts, booty calls, and incredible duds!)
Question #4: “Are you always this charming towards every girl, or am I just special?”
I once asked a question kind of like this to a guy whom I suspected was a player.
And whether you ask this question seriously or playfully, a player will usually be easy to spot through his response.
Why?
Because players usually have tunnel vision. They’re not attuned to you as a woman. They have no idea where you’re really coming from or what you’re feeling.
They are myopic in their approach to women in that they are blinded by desperation and the need to achieve their own goal.
As such, they’ll usually be either very quick to deny that they’re being particularly charming, or they’ll fire off a bunch of compliments, insisting that you’re the special one whom he cannot help but be charming with.
Again, it’s in those moments of spontaneity that you get a glimpse of his truest intentions. Ask yourself, is his response attuned to you and your feelings? Is his response too much or too little?
Does it feel like his response is tainted with avoidance behaviour? Does it feel like he is unnecessarily defensive?
All these little clues help to paint the bigger picture, which is going to help you determine what kind of man this is.
Question #5: “So just let me know when we plan on breaking up because I need to get myself mentally ready to meet [insert celebrity name].”
Again, this is another question that is coming out of left field and thus completely unpredictable.
Of course, this is said out of playfulness as a way to create a moment of playful spontaneity.
It takes a lot of energy and willingness in order to be attuned to spontaneous playfulness.
If a man isn’t willing to stay attuned to that, then he either has ulterior motives or doesn’t care about you enough.
The best kinds of responses from these questions come in the form of playful banter back at you. By banter I mean something that he has come up with spontaneously in response to your question.
Let me give you an example…
He could respond with something like…
“Sure, I’ll make sure to text you the date of our breakup, it will be exactly the morning after I meet [Insert another celebrity name].”
This kind of response shows that he’s willing to play along, and stay attuned to where you are at.
Of course, the larger part of his response is not in his words but his non-verbal communication. Is he congruent with what he’s saying?
Is he playful back? Does he even enjoy playing along with you?
Final Note On The Questions To Ask A Guy To Know His Intentions
Remember, the power here is not merely in these questions themselves.
The true power is really in your ability to bring playful spontaneity to the table and your ability to stay attuned enough to feel his intentions.
People, especially adults tend to be very good at lying, even if they are just little white lies. This is especially true for both men and women in dating.
We all want value for ourselves and we all want to put our perceived best foot forward.
So your job is to see through the facade and the masks that we all wear. Your job is to not fall for the words, but see him as who he is deep down inside.
I’d like to thank my husband David (creator of the course “High Value Profile and Banter”) for his help in coming up with these genius questions to ask a guy!
Now over to you. Have you found any specific question that works when trying to figure out a guy’s intentions? Let us know in the comments, we would love to learn from you!
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