Sexual health expert reveals why you should NEVER fake an orgasm
By SYEDA SAAD
It has been proven time and time again that heterosexual women statistically orgasm less than men.
The fact that men's orgasm rates are 70 to 85 percent while women's are at a measly 46 to 56 percent is the reason experts coined this unfortunate phenomenon 'the orgasm gap.'
And Pippa Murphy, the sex and relationships expert at Condoms UK, explained that faking orgasms is only making this disparity worse.
If you're a man, you might assume that this hasn't happened with any of your partners.
But as Murphy told the DailyMail.com, 'Faking orgasms is far more common than many people realize.'
Studies show that 59 percent of women have faked an orgasm at least once in their life - while 18 percent of women do it regularly.
So why are women faking the big O?
Murphy explained that the reasons are both complex and intertwined.
Studies show that 59% of women have faked an orgasm at least once in their life (stock image)
'Many do it to spare their partner's feelings, worrying that not climaxing might make them seem dissatisfied or their partner feel inadequate,' Murphy said.
But explained that faking an orgasm for the sake of placating your partner only sparks a cycle of miscommunication.
Other women fake an orgasm as a way of ending unsatisfying sex.
'It's a quick exit strategy, but one that doesn't address the underlying issues of why the sex isn't satisfying in the first place,' Murphy said.
She even said that some women even fake orgasms in an attempt to increase their own arousal.
'It's a bit like a "fake it till you make it" approach, but it rarely leads to genuine satisfaction and can reinforce unrealistic expectations,' she said.
But in general, faking an orgasm usually stems from the immense societal pressure that leaks into a woman's bedroom.
Murphy explained that due to mainstream media, the type of porn people consume, and how women are perceived in society, they engage in sex thinking that they must climax in order to prove they're enjoying themselves or that they're good in bed.
Sex and relationship expert Pippy Murphy said some women fake orgasms for as an 'exit strategy' for unsatisfying sex (stock image)
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This, she said, is a harmful myth that needs debunking - especially because the ramifications of this charade typically fall back on women themselves.
'Faking orgasms might seem like a harmless act in the moment, but it can have significant consequences for women,' Murphy said.
'One of the most immediate effects is that it can lead to a cycle of unfulfilling sex.
'By pretending to climax, women inadvertently teach their partners that certain techniques are effective when they're not.
'This can result in a pattern of sexual encounters that fail to meet their needs, leaving them feeling frustrated and unsatisfied.'
Additionally, Murphy explained that constantly faking orgasms can take a mental toll on someone.
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There's this pressure that comes with feeling like you need to perform and maintain a facade - which can eventually lead to anxiety and decreased self-esteem.
She explained that it can be mentally taxing to consistently pretend to experience pleasure that isn't there.
'Over time, this can make women feel disconnected from their own desires and bodies,' she said.
Plus, if you're doing this with a partner, you're only creating barriers between you two and genuine intimacy.
Faking an orgasm is a form of dishonesty, Murphy explained - even if it is done with good intentions.
It erases the opportunity for you and your partner to understand each other's pleasure, which is key to building a strong (and satisfying) sexual connection, Murphy said.
While it may be hard to simply 'stop' faking orgasms when it's a practice you've been partaking in for a while, Murphy said that it's not impossible - it just takes actionable little steps.
Murphy said women should remind themselves that their own pleasure is important, there's no such thing as finishing 'fast enough,' and that orgasm shouldn't be the goal of sex.
Additionally, communication with a sexual partner - whether you're in a relationship or not - is key.
'It might feel awkward at first, but start guiding your partner during intimate moments,' Murphy said.
She suggested showing and telling them what feels good for you.
'By being open about your needs, you're giving both yourself and your partner the opportunity for more satisfying encounters,' she said.
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