How Feeld Makes Me Feel Less Alone Being Non-Monogamous
Whether you are or aren't on the dating apps, you've probably heard of the most inclusive of the bunch: Feeld. A self-proclaimed dating app for the curious, Feeld is certainly a unique corner of the dating world built just for folks looking to explore just about anything and everything - and personally, as a queer and married woman in an open relationship, I'm into it.
Online dating is still very popular in 2024, with nearly three in 10 US adults saying they have used a dating site or app, according to Pew Research Center. But dating looks a little bit different than it used to. In the same survey, it was found that 34 percent of folks described their ideal relationship as something other than complete monogamy. Enter: Feeld.
The Purpose of Feeld
Feeld is the dating app for those who are looking to veer from the traditional: exploring ethical non-monogamy, swinging, looking to fulfill a sexual fantasy, dating someone with their spouse, or expanding their feelings about gender and sexual expression. The app aims to be a safe, inclusive corner for anyone who may be curious about what makes them (and even their partner) tick.
If you're hetero, heteroflexible, pansexual, asexual, aromantic, a voyeur, or someone more kink-specific, Feeld welcomes one and all. Whether you're looking to land a meaningful connection, find like-minded people, meet folks in a non-traditional community, or learn more about yourself, the app tries to center those who use it and what they actually want out of their dating life.
Feeld Pricing
Feeld isn't too pricey. To download the app, it's free. But if you're looking for the full Feeld experience, there are membership options starting at $14 per month.
Contrary to what you might think, more folks are paying for dating apps than ever before, because being a member often gives users more of a winning chance to meet their new lover or even lifelong partner. So, it's nothing to be ashamed about.
With the Majestic Membership, users can take part in skipping profiles, date "globally" - think of matching and setting up a date night with someone for a date pre your summer trip to France - or send unlimited pings, which is the feature that shows someone you really like them.
Common Feeld Terminology
After downloading Feeld for the first time, it's a common experience that you will run into terminology you may have not seen before. If that happens to you, don't worry - it happens to all of us in the ENM, kink or sexually-free community. Here are a few most-used terminologies about gender and sexual preferences to keep an eye out for, below:
FWB: Friends with benefits.
FFM: A threesome between two humans who identify as female, and one who identifies as male.
GGG: A term popularized by sex columnist Dan Savage to define the qualities of an excellent sexual partner: good (in bed), giving (of time and pleasure), and game (for exploring and being open-minded).
Heteroflexible: Heteroflexible humans are primarily sexually and/or romantically attracted to genders other than their own, but are also open to having sexual and/or romantic interactions with humans of the same gender.
Polyamorous: Sometimes referred to as ethical non-monogamy (ENM) or consensual non-monogamy (CSM), polyamory consists of having consensual relationships that involve multiple partners.
My Feeld Review
When I first learned about Feeld, I was on a date with a girl who had met her partner on the app back in 2021. I was hesitant to try it out. As someone who identifies as bisexual, is ethically non-monogamous, and married to a man, I hadn't had good experiences with dating apps prior. There's a reason I am banned from Tinder for life (yes, really.) Most of the other dating apps aren't made for or inclusive to folks like me.
But this past year, after a few failed stints on Hinge, I decided to finally give Feeld a try, and I'm really glad I did. Right off the bat, the first thing I noticed was just how inclusive it really was. On my profile, I could link up with my husband's profile, so folks who are interested in me (or us together) could easily have a way to see what we're about. I'd never been able to do that before on other dating apps. This is my favorite feature; it's one that feels like it offers what I'm all about: honesty and communication.
I appreciate all of Feeld's profile options: I can list my sexuality, gender, partner, and bio right up top, followed by my desires and interests. There are so many desires to choose from - and they're changeable at any time - but I currently have listed poly, couples, singles, casual, and three-way.
It removes any awkwardness or the dreaded, "So what brings you here?"
I love that when I'm looking at someone else's profile, I can quickly see their desires, too. It removes any awkwardness or the dreaded, "So what brings you here?" On the other hand, I find that I am sometimes overwhelmed by the options and inundated with folks I may not be into, but that's not necessarily a bad problem to have. Overall, the app is incredibly user-friendly. It feels like the tech adapts to the needs of the users, and every time I log on, I notice a new or improved feature and feel.
As of now, I've been a user of Feeld for about a year and I don't see myself stopping any time soon. Since I've made my profile, I've had a real chance at meeting like-minded folks. Over time, I've received over 5,000 likes, 200 pings, and have gone on roughly five dates total, which have all been lovely dating experiences.
The app has really given me (and my partner) an opportunity to meet other ENM-minded couples, discover new terms and ways to talk about who we are, and made me feel like I am part of a larger community.
The only downside to using Feeld, I'd say, is that sometimes the app can be a little glitchy and I don't always get notifications if someone has messaged me - which can be a real vibe killer if the other person thinks you've exited the conversation. Other than that, there aren't many cons in my book.
Whenever I log on, I am reminded of the moments it has brought into my life: the date with the Australian, the girl with the blue hair, the time I explored a different kink in a threesome with my partner, and the list goes on. And still, I am of the opinion that there is always more to explore and learn about myself, so I don't imagine myself deleting it any time soon. After all, I aim to stay curious.
Related:
The 10 Best Polyamorous Dating Apps
Hayley Folk (she/her) is a freelance writer, editor, and podcast host based in New York City. She is the host of the "Naked Folk" podcast - a sexual wellness and relationships podcast - and she writes for major publications about the LGBTQ+ community, travel, lifestyle, sex, and wellness. In 2022, she received her master of fine arts in creative writing from The New School.
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