She’s Beginning To Resent Her Boyfriend For Failing To Propose, Then Blaming It On Finances
For the last four years, this 26-year-old woman has been dating her 31-year-old boyfriend, and there’s no doubt in her mind that she’s ready to take the next step.
When she first started getting serious with her boyfriend, she outlined her five-year plan, which still hasn’t changed: she has always wanted to get married by the time she hits 27.
Back then, her boyfriend agreed that the timeline sounded good for him, too. Over the years, she and her boyfriend have frequently discussed their five-year plans to make sure everything still aligned, and it did.
She comes from an extremely traditional family, and they think you should never introduce anyone to your loved ones unless you’re positive you want to marry them.
Her family also doesn’t buy into living together before marriage or taking vacations beforehand either.
Despite that, she has pushed the boundaries within her own family and got her mom and dad’s permission to move out of the house and take vacations with her boyfriend.
At the beginning of last year, her family met with her boyfriend’s family to talk about their future wedding and engagement.
Her boyfriend stated he wasn’t ready to buy her an engagement ring until he paid down his debt.
“I wondered why he couldn’t pay off his debt while we were engaged, but he didn’t want that, so I said okay, no problem,” she explained.
Ana BG – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
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“He told my parents that he would propose by the end of the year. Come the end of the year, my family would ask about the ring and poke fun, “So when’s it happening?” He did not like that.”
Her boyfriend likes to do everything in his own time and doesn’t appreciate being pushed to go faster.
What bothers her is that her boyfriend told her and her family one thing: the engagement would happen by a specific date, and then it didn’t.
She asked her parents to stop talking about engagement plans, and they respected her wishes. A few months ago, her boyfriend did pay off his debt, so she took him out to help celebrate that achievement.
“We discussed the engagement again, and I told him I don’t want an expensive ring; even $200 would be fine,” she added.
“He said we can have the wedding next year, the same day as our anniversary because he doesn’t want to celebrate it on any other day.”
She pointed out to her boyfriend that she would also be quite happy with a tiny wedding that only includes their immediate family members, but he said he preferred a huge wedding.
Ever since that convo, she anticipated her boyfriend would pick their anniversary date to propose, as it takes a year to plan a wedding.
Their anniversary came and went two months ago, and still no ring. She’s so disappointed that she’s beginning to resent her boyfriend.
“I find myself bringing it up more and more and questioning: would I prefer him or marriage?” she wondered.
“I love him so so much; he’s the most amazing man to me, but I don’t want to have to choose; I want marriage with him. He’s my best friend. It just broke my heart when I asked if he would want to get married now – because I would sign the papers tomorrow, and then we can finally move in together – and he said he wouldn’t want to get married right now because he wants to save for a wedding.”
“I didn’t mention the wedding; I just meant sign the papers, which doesn’t cost a thing. I mentioned that I already saved over the years for a wedding, and even if the wedding is in a year, that’s plenty of time to save up.”
She’s left feeling like her boyfriend always claims finances are the reason why he can’t propose to her, and she’s getting sick of it.
It’s irritating to her that her boyfriend has said all along he will be ready to get engaged by now, yet he comes up with ways to push that and a wedding further away into the future.
She’s trying her hardest not to constantly talk about her wants, and with her loved ones growing more excited by the day, asking about when the proposal is happening, she’s getting less thrilled and more anxious.
Additionally, she wants her boyfriend to be happy about getting engaged, and it appears to her that he no longer feels that way.
She’s growing sadder about it all, too, as she would be fine simply signing marriage papers and having him buy her a Ring Pop; she’s not asking for much.
“I’m starting to feel resentful because I feel like I’m putting my life on hold for him, and he doesn’t care enough,” she concluded.
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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