What To Do When Kids Use Foul Language
Kids may occasionally use a swear word, but you might want to intervene if foul language becomes a disruptive habit. Here's what to do.Medically reviewed by Laura Anderson Kirby, PhDMedically reviewed by Laura Anderson Kirby, PhDIt’s normal for kids to use foul language at one time or another—after all, kids make it their job to push boundaries and experiment with new words. Young kids will often repeat swear words they’ve heard without knowing exactly what they mean. Older kids often want to test their parents’ reactions and see what they can get away with. If your child has started using a few words that are not appropriate for your family, there are several discipline techniques you can use to curb their use of foul language—without making this type of language even more appealing to your older kid. Impact of Curse WordsWhether or not swearing is off limits in your family, children should know that swear words can be construed as offensive, inappropriate, or unacceptable to other people or in social settings.
Tim Denison / E+ / Getty Images
Think About Your Family ValuesYour family values will play a big role in deciding how to respond to swear words. For some families, swearing is not a big deal and parents accept that kids are likely to use curse words. For families who are particularly offended by swearing, it's important to address the problem right away.Either way, talk to your child about how different people have different values. While you might not find swearing offensive, some people do. If your family doesn't use foul language, make sure your child knows that even though they might overhear curse words from other people, that doesn't mean it aligns with your family's values and that they should not repeat those words at home or around other family members.Consider the ReasonWhen deciding how to address foul language, look at the possible reasons for your child's choice of words. How and where the swear word was used is important. A 5-year-old repeating a word they heard on the bus is very different from a 15-year-old swearing at a teacher. Those two incidents should not illicit the same reaction—for instance, in the first circumstance, discipline is not necessary.Sometimes kids swear because they lack important life skills. For instance, they might feel socially awkward, have trouble communicating, or want to fit in with a new group of friends. If that's the case, it's important to teach your child how to navigate the challenging situations that accompany adolescence with confidence and common sense.Even if you don't think swearing is right, research shows that approaching your child with sensitivity will help them overcome these issues—and will perhaps even decrease the risk that they might develop depression.There might be larger issues at play, however. If you think swearing is a symptom of a bigger problem, such as a lack of anger management skills, teach your child how to handle big emotions as part of your discipline strategy.Be a Good Role ModelConsider the type of behavior you are modeling for your child. If you swear, your child probably will too. Telling your child, “These are adult words so I can say them but you can't,” isn't enough to address the problem. Kids want to be like grownups and will copy what you do.If you’ve been a little relaxed with your language and your child has picked up swearing, the first line of defense should be to change your own language. If you model how to handle anger and express yourself without cursing, your child will learn how to do that as well.Look at other ways that your child might be exposed to inappropriate language, such as in movies or video games. You might consider reassessing the type of entertainment they are exposed to if you want to clean up their language.Ignore It If Your Child Wants AttentionKids will often repeat behavior that gets them a lot of attention, even if its negative attention. If you laugh or make a big deal out of a curse word, it’s pretty much guaranteed your child will say it again. On the flip side, some research shows that children who share a nurturing relationship with their caregivers are less likely to display attention-seeking behaviors, so make sure that you spend time with your child whenever the opportunity arises.Ignoring the behavior can be a good strategy to start with, especially for young children. If the swear word gets repeated, despite ignoring it, explain that it’s not a nice word and that it shouldn’t be used anymore.Establish Rules About SwearingRules help kids know their boundaries. Decide what your rules are in your house regarding foul language, and then make them, along with the consequences or rewards available to your kids. Here are some ideas:If you’ve created a rule about swearing and it continues to happen, a negative consequence may be necessary. If your child swears when they are angry, a time-out can be a good way to teach them how to calm down before they say something that will get them into trouble.A “swear jar” is another means of discipline. This requires anyone in the house to put a certain amount of money—such as a quarter—into the jar after each offense. This works best for teens who may have money already and will be impacted by having to give some of it away.Use a reward system to encourage your kids to use appropriate language. Knowing a reward awaits can be a great way to motivate kids to use kind words throughout the day.Your long-term goal should be to teach your child that their language affects others. If they swear at someone or at the wrong time, it could have serious consequences. Even if you have a relaxed attitude about swearing in your family, letting them know that not everyone around them feels the same way will protect them in the long run.
Related: Why the R-Word Is Harmful and Outdated
For more Parents news, make sure to sign up for our newsletter! Read the original article on Parents.
Welcome to Billionaire Club Co LLC, your gateway to a brand-new social media experience! Sign up today and dive into over 10,000 fresh daily articles and videos curated just for your enjoyment. Enjoy the ad free experience, unlimited content interactions, and get that coveted blue check verification—all for just $1 a month!
Account Frozen
Your account is frozen. You can still view content but cannot interact with it.
Please go to your settings to update your account status.
Open Profile Settings