Why I Watched 'America's Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders' with My Tween
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The show is not without controversy but the underlying message is it takes both hard work and rejection to achieve your dreams.
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Fact checked by Sarah ScottFact checked by Sarah ScottI love watching dance, cheerleading, and gymnastics performances even though they were never “my thing.” I was a cheerleader for one season through my local little league, came down with the flu before our final showcase, and never picked up a pom pom again. I tried dance—both jazz and ballet—but could never nail the choreography, told I was too curvy to ever get on pointe and nevertheless, was always a beat behind.But I was always in awe of those who had the stamina, drive, talent (and body type). Movies like Center Stage and Bring It On rank up there as all-time favorites where I know every word and every bit of choreography. My world stops for the gymnastics portion of the Summer Olympics. And if I catch a competitive cheerleading competition airing on ESPN, my plans are immediately canceled. So, of course, the Netflix docuseries America's Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders was must-see TV. When it caught the attention of my 9-year-old daughter, I was thrilled to watch it together. I’m well aware of the controversy surrounding the show. The way the cheerleaders are objectified in their scantily clad outfits, the inequity in pay (reportedly, Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders make around $400 per game where major football players can make millions), the concerns around their mental health, personal safety, and physical wellbeing are just some of the many issues up for debate upon viewing.However, I didn't hesitate to allow my daughter to watch with me. As she’s beginning to focus on her own passions and dreams, I wanted to use the show as an example of what that path might look like—the good, the bad, and the disappointing. Like me, dance, cheerleading, or gymnastics are not in my daughter’s future. The theater is where her heart lies and landing that dream role will take the same determination, practice, dedication, and focus seen on America's Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. It’s another industry with no guarantees, intense criticism, constant trial and error, and the need to hype yourself up and stay focused before achieving even the smallest breakthrough. All About 'America's Sweethearts' on NetflixThe first two episodes of America's Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders focus on the grueling and emotional audition process. Even if you’re a “veteran” cheerleader with several years of experience on the team, you must audition along with the first-timers, aka “rookies” to earn back your spot.Cuts are made in the first round of video submissions and continue as girls fly to Dallas from all over the country for the in-person dance performances. Even if you make it to training camp—held just weeks before the first game of the season—you’re fighting for one of 36 spots until the end.DCC Director Kelli Finglass and head choreographer Judy Trammell carefully dissect more than just the girls’ dance and cheerleading skills. Their hair, makeup, wax jobs, height, and weight are taken into consideration. To an untrained eye, the girls appear to be larger than life and ready to hit the field on game day. But Finglass and Trammell notice even the slightest bent knee, crooked arm, awkward smile, sloppy posture, or hint of fatigue. They even get makeovers where we see Finglass tell one hopeful rookie to dye her blonde locks brown. Despite the drastic change, she was still cut.As my daughter Mila watched, she simply wanted to find the best in all the girls. Mila even took out her own notepad, wrote down each girl’s name, and scored them herself—all earning a ten out of ten. She became teary-eyed as girls were told they weren’t ready for the team this year and given a list of things to work on for next year.Mila became extremely concerned and connected to Victoria Kalina, a veteran Dallas Cowboy cheerleader trying out for her 4th year. Mila tried to understand how someone so beautiful and talented could still struggle with their self-esteem and confidence.Victoria’s honesty was boundless as she discussed taking a season off after the COVID-19 pandemic to focus on her mental health and struggles with food. Mila may not have completely understood Victoria’s inner battles but breathed a sigh of relief when she did indeed make the team.
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TV Shows As Conversation StartersHere’s the thing—as a mom, America's Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders was the conversation starter I didn’t know we needed. The questions, comments, and chats haven’t stopped.Sarah Keating, MEd, the Vice President, Girl Scout Experience of the Girls Scouts of the USA (GSUSA) agrees watching TV with your tween or teen child can be a powerful and fun bonding experience. It opens up opportunities for connection, understanding, and conversation. That can be a hard feat at those ages.“Psychologists have observed that when youth and parents share an experience of watching something difficult or challenging on TV, they’re more likely to talk to their parents about it if (or when) they encounter it in real life,” explains Keating.The conversations Mila and I have touched on because of America's Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders have ranged from body image and self-worth to following passions (even when they can bring about great disappointment). I’m able to use my own experiences to drive many of the conversations. I’ve struggled greatly with my body image and chose a profession that while not physically demanding, is incredibly competitive and full of disappointments. Mila was surprised how the girls were criticized constantly (even the “stars” of the team) yet took it with a dazzling smile and a “yes ma’am.”I wear my emotions all over my face and have a tough time being “polite” when I feel attacked. So, I wanted expert advice on delving into the big topics this show highlights. Resilience, being the underdog, and accepting that rejection is part of life can be more triggering to talk about than I expected!So, here are expert recommendations on talking about body image, rejection, mental health, and the stamina needed to follow passions (no matter the stakes) with your tween and teens whether you’re watching America's Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders with them or not!Turning Around The Body Image ConversationAs the cheerleaders are fitted for their infamously skimpy uniforms—booty shorts, halter blouse, and boots—it’s made clear that your uniform must fit for the duration of the season. There are no alterations made for weight gain or weight loss. It’s a lot of pressure that the average girl may not go through exactly—but they can relate to it.Recent GSUSA research conducted with Wakefield shows that a quarter of girls as young as 5 years old say their body and the way it looks is one of their top concerns. This number nearly doubles (43%) when girls are 8-10 years old. These numbers were part of a larger survey about loneliness in girls.Keating suggests if you’re watching America's Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders with your tween or teen you should balance what you’re seeing by making other observations, such as how strong and confident the participants are.“Turning the conversation to empowerment and character will open the conversation and make it more relevant to tweens and teens. You can talk to your girl about society’s beauty standards as well as what she thinks makes someone beautiful,” says Keating. “Remember that the average American woman wears a size 16. Ask your tween/teen if the average woman’s body is seen anywhere on the screen?”Helping your tween/teen see that what’s shown to us in the media isn’t actually the norm can help her feel better about her own body and realize that the skin she’s in isn’t too big, too small, too anything. She’s wonderful just the way she is.” Kate Daley, MA, LPCC, RDN, a primary therapist for Athlete EDGE at EDCare suggests reframing comments by celebrating what the athletes' bodies are capable of doing to help shift the focus to ability rather than aesthetics.“Weight and body composition are two of at least 40 factors that influence sports performance, so identifying and discussing other critical factors displayed in the show like resilience, dedication, and commitment to training can help young girls recognize that performance is dependent on so much more than how their body looks,” she explains. Daley adds that parents and coaches also play a critical role in modeling when it comes to body image."It's essential to demonstrate a balanced attitude towards body image and nutrition," she explains. "The way coaches and parents talk about and treat their own bodies significantly influences how children and athletes perceive and care for themselves.”
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Mental Health Acceptance in SportsHeavy topics are addressed throughout America's Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Kalina is open throughout the series about her struggles with depression and an eating disorder. Other rookie and veteran cheerleaders share they’re going through grief and anxiety.Then there’s the physical demands of being a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader, causing many to have hip surgery before they are 30 or retire earlier than planned—which in turn takes a toll on their mental health and state of mind.I openly talk to my daughter about how I suffer from anxiety (Inside Out 2 was a wonderful jumping-off point too) and know that she goes through bouts of it herself. But it was eye-opening for her to watch women on TV—who she viewed as “having it all together”—discuss the darkness of their mental health, affecting their lives and careers. Daley believes it is important not to skirt around these topics because acknowledging the prevalence of mental health issues in sports and normalizing that it is okay to struggle can significantly help individuals feel more comfortable in seeking support.“When introducing these topics, especially for the first time, it's important to create a safe and supportive environment. Encourage open dialogue and make it clear that seeking help or advice is a sign of strength, not weakness, “ says Daley. “Parents, caregivers, and coaches play a crucial role in modeling positive behaviors for young athletes."Following Your Passion(s) Despite RejectionIn the show, there are no guarantees that veterans will make the team. Girls come from all over the country with determination, ready to put in the hard work and make any sacrifices needed—with no backup plan.What was most inspiring to both me and Mila was how gracefully the girls handled rejection. Of course, they cried or tearfully called their moms to share the devastating news that they were coming home. Almost all walked away with a renewed spirit and an “I’ll show you” attitude, ready to come back stronger next year.I mean, how can you not feel inspired by that attitude? While it’s not easy at the moment to see the positives while in the throes of disappointment and heartbreak, it is an essential life skill that I’d love for my daughter to learn sooner rather than later, especially if she’s going to pursue theater which like Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders is all about judgment, rejection, and harsh criticism.Keating suggests asking your tween/teen what might inspire them to put themselves in a high-stakes situation like the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. What kind of a support system would they want to have to get them through it? Share your own experiences and talk about coping skills for excitement, stress, and disappointment.“Remind your teen/tween that some people are naturally better at some things than others, so no matter how hard your daughter tries, there’s a chance that she may never exactly match another child’s success—and that’s OK!” says Keating. “The last thing you’d want is for her to give up on a passion just because she didn’t get first place or get picked for a solo performance. Helping her see what she has to offer, and that some other kids might be jealous of her abilities can give her confidence and help her feel proud of her own accomplishments, even if they don’t exactly match those of her friends or classmates.” For more Parents news, make sure to sign up for our newsletter! Read the original article on Parents.
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