He’s Afraid To Have A Second Child With His Wife Because Their First Baby’s Birth Was A Really Traumatic Experience
This 32-year-old man and his wife, who is 30, dated for six months before they found out she was pregnant.
“But, we’ve been friends for many years before that and knew each other well, so the transition to a relationship wasn’t hard,” he recalled.
They also discussed their future family and agreed that they’d both be happy having two kids together. However, after his wife actually gave birth to their baby one year ago, his feelings on the topic changed.
Apparently, their baby – a boy – was born early, at 30 weeks, and it was a very traumatic experience. His wife was brought in for an emergency C-section.
Then, she was constantly in and out of the hospital for the following few weeks after suffering high blood pressure. Not to mention, their son was dealing with growth restrictions.
“Our son was born and was in the NICU for almost two months. It was very mentally and physically draining for both of us during this whole time and continued after he came home, trying to make sure he was gaining weight and not having other health issues he was kind of having while in the NICU,” he explained.
After their son was born, doctors also told him and his wife that it was possible for all of this to happen again if they had another child. So, not knowing what could happen to the health of his wife and any future kids terrifies him.
Not to mention, he realizes just how expensive it is to raise children nowadays and afford childcare. Plus, he knows that providing for a household and actually caring for kids is a ton of work.
“It’s been draining me mentally for that and other reasons,” he admitted.
LIGHTFIELD STUDIOS – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
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Yet, his wife still wants to have another child with him. In fact, she’s said that she would do it all over again in a heartbeat to have another baby.
He, on the other hand, told his wife that he’s seriously considering “being done” after having just one baby with her. And she hasn’t been taking his perspective well.
They’ve discussed their options together a few times, and whenever he expresses his feelings about not wanting another baby, he feels like his wife just tries to minimize his fears and what he wants.
But, while he realizes he initially agreed to have two children with her, things have simply changed. So much happened with the birth of their son, and he’s learned so much that he’s now leaning toward not wanting another.
He also thinks it would be irresponsible of them to have another baby right now because he doesn’t think he can handle caring or financially supporting two children.
“I know this could very well end our marriage,” he vented, “But I can’t sacrifice so much potentially for this.”
Still, he can’t help but wonder if not wanting another baby with his wife is justified or makes him a jerk.
Can you understand why he’s nervous? How can he and his wife work through their opposing views together?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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